I can't remember when it hit me to be self-conscious about how I look. I don't remember waking up one day and saying "Hmmm... let me see how many girls I can envy today." There wasn't one distinct moment in my life where I made the decision to care so deeply about what others thought of me. Yet here I am at almost 18 years old and I realize these thoughts consume my mind a lot. Talking to other people and hearing what they have to say, I've realized we all have this downfall: the downfall of caring so deeply about things that weren't even important to us as kids.

Yes, I am aware that kids don't take into consideration important things that maybe they should think about. But interacting with kids and seeing their innocence and care-free state has really tugged on my mind. It makes me annoyed that I spend so much time thinking about things that aren't even that important. I don't want to look back on my life and say I didn't enjoy it because I was too pressed on comparing myself to someone else or looking in the mirror and being disappointed. I'm pretty sure you, the reader, won't want to look back on your life and think the same thing either.

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'

-Matthew 18:1-4

As difficult as it may be for me to wake up and not complain about my slender body and unique hair, I'm going to make every effort to do so. I want to once again become like little children and change my thinking. I want to focus on the things that really matter. I want to return to a state of wonder where I don't persecute God's masterpiece -- my body.

I will go even further to say that if anyone knows me personally and hears me speak down on my body and talk negatively about myself, please call me out on it. I'll be sure to return the favor of edifying you to know that you are a son or daughter of God, and that already makes you beautiful. As the song goes... "May we never lose our wonder."