Did you root for Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly while watching The Office? I think we all did. I know that I did. Do you remember when Pam is being interviewed about Jim, and she mentions that she is sure he got a job he interviewed for, and that she had her chance with him, but they never got the timing right? Then, Jim walks in and invites her to dinner, and we all screamed at home on our couches because they were FINALLY getting their chance? It was an epic moment for all lovers of love. What took them so long?
Timing is a funny thing to blame, because it is literally in our hands. Does timing stop you, or do you stop you? We have all been there. You meet someone, you are interested and getting all the right signals. Maybe you even get into some on again, off again relationship. Things either go nowhere fast or they fizzle out, and you blame timing. "She's too involved with school," you'll tell yourself. "He's not ready, you'll think. You will come up with any scapegoat possible because you want to believe that something, anything other than this great person, is the cause for it not going your way. I have been there. I have been willing to blame a crumb on the floor if it meant I didn't have to blame him. But I was wrong to excuse these people, and so are you.
There is always more to the story, despite what we want to tell ourselves. We can't keep blaming the "timing." We control much, if not most of the timing of our relationships. I have allowed potential relationships to tinker off because of "timing", but adamantly pursued others that I really wanted. If you want to spend time with someone, if you want to be with someone, you will find the time and so will they. This is where trust and understanding would play in a relationship, but instead we allow it to fade (whether or not this is by one partner's choice).
We need to start having more respect for ourselves. We need to stop blaming timing for our relationships not working, and start accepting the real reasons. If two people want to be together, it will happen. It should not take more time for people to find themselves, or date around, or to find time. If two people want to be together, they will find themselves together, they will date each other, they will make time. Jim Halpert always loved Pam Beesly, but they didn't end up together until Pam made the time, effort, and allowed her emotions to be available for him. I am glad they finally came together, and I still love them as a couple, but nobody should ever have to wait as long as Jim did. We won't all be as lucky as two people that had their love story planned and written for them.
