Reader Dear,
I know. Everyone dreads them. Girls because they can't show their shoulders and how anti-feminist that is. Boys because they imply that they're pigs. Teachers and principals because they make them feel uncomfortable (especially the male ones).
But this is all old news. You're probably wondering what I've got my panties in a wad about.
The fact that the issue has been so blown out of proportion suggests that there's some underlying, root problem to the debate about school dress codes. Whether it be the more extreme implication that young men can't control themselves at the sight of a bare shoulder and may be driven to sexually assault a young woman or the more innocuous assumption that such dress can be distracting to boys in the classroom, the issue calls for some deep examination and knowledge of human sexuality. Which is something I believe most schools -- and people in general -- lack.
One day I asked a more conservative friend of mine about his opinion on those pesky dress codes. Now, before you start drawing lines in the sand, reader dear, pay close attention to the nature of his explanation: the way he described the dilemma of a male's in-school-spaghetti-strap experience was more or less comparable to a girl having a hot steaming piece of chocolate cake plopped on her desk in the middle of her menstrual period. The sight...the smell...the taste...as you imagine this, ladies, you are more likely than not thinking, "How on God's green earth am I supposed to take an exam with this sitting in front of me?"
Reader dear, I hope you have realized that this is no fire-and-brimstone, listen-to-your-Bible admonition against sporting your favorite summer garb in September, but cold hard biology. Turns out, in the words of psychologist Leon F Seltzer, "men's brains are designed to objectify females" and "exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates the parts of their brain related to getting an erection." Indeed, men's bodies are hardwired to register visual cues in a way that goes straight to in-between-their-legs, which women should realize not only can put men in an embarrassing social situation but also causes them to experience a racing heart and inability to concentrate, as per my friend.
Ladies (or gents), I understand if you're a die-hard feminist who would love to flaunt her stuff in the halls, or on campus. But this issue is about more than just sociocultural values and women's oppression. This is about biology, and creating a respectful and accommodating environment for everyone. Where there is concern for men's self-control, I see a call to mothers and sisters to teach our sons and brothers about how to treat -- and think of -- women. Where there is concern for women's oppression, I see a call to teach girls that there are more ways to express their blooming sexuality than letting it all hang out, especially in an academic setting. And above all, I see a call for better sex ed in our schools.
I love to wear me the occasional cut-off top. But honestly, I almost never wear one to class. Yep, even in college. It's out of respect for my instructors and colleagues, and has nothing to do with my stance on feminism (which is a fairly strong green light). I'd love it if you were to take this article as a green light to start a conversation. Together we can calm down an overly-heated debate and make schools a smarter and safer place.
