Maybe you're struggling under the weight of constant comparison, always falling short of the impossible standard you have in your mind. Maybe you've lost friendships because of your constant need to be the best, or your relationships have lost intimacy because comparison has stolen your ability to be a true and uplifting friend.
Or maybe you're just tired.
Tired of the constant baggage of life that fills your mind with anxiety, doubt, depression, and anger because of comparison.
"I can't keep up!" you think. You long for a place of peace where you can be loved for who you are, not for what you have, what you've accomplished, your popularity, influence, and likes. Loved with no filter needed.
I know, because that was me. At the beginning of this year, I decided to take a three day, water-only fast and pray over a few things I wanted to overcome in my personal life. I wrote a few prayers on post-it notes and stuck them on a wall in my closet. I was really good about getting up in the morning and spending extra time in God's presence praying over these post-it notes… for about three days. As soon as my fast ended, my extra prayer time seemed to end as well. What didn't end was God's power at work in my life through those specific prayers I laid at His feet.
One particular prayer was this: "Help me break free from comparison!" I felt pulled down, overcome by an invisible weight, blinded by my judgments of others. I unfollowed people on social media who made me feel inferior. I talked negatively about people who made me feel jealous and never celebrated with those who were accomplishing great things in their lives. The only peace I had was isolation. When no one was around to compare myself to, I was safe. But loneliness set in and left my world small and my mind smaller. I wanted a way OUT!
Obviously, we need to set our examples and choose people who inspire us. The danger is when the admiration becomes comparison, invading our space, life, and how we see ourselves. Never should we allow someone else's life be more wanted than our own. As we look outside, we forget what we have inside.
Do not lose your essence by trying to copy someone while you don't yet know yourself completely. Instead of setting yourself up as someone else, train yourself to love even more. God, on purpose, did not. It's not about what you can have, but it's about who you are and what you do with it. It doesn't matter what others are doing. Begin using what you have. As you look at the world, the world is waiting for you.
If you want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to Jesus. He is the only One we need to be imitators of. God has given us a perfect model so that we don't waste time with others—a model that can be unattainable, yet real at the same time. Jesus urges us to be better and shows us how to find our best.
He is not only good, but he is the perfect example of goodness. He is not just loving, but He is love. Jesus lived in our midst just to show us what it's like to live. Do not waste time with faulty and selfish people. If you really want to follow someone—follow Jesus.
What is comparison?
Comparison is a form or manifestation of insecurity. It comes from lack. Lack of identity. Lack of purpose. Lack of confidence in who we are and the life we have been given.
Insecurity comes from believing lies and not knowing or believing our true identity. So when we compare ourselves to others, essentially we're saying, "I don't know or believe in who I am, and I don't know or believe in who God is."
We compare because we are searching for a sense of security outside of ourselves. Whether we know it or not we are constantly searching for where we fall in the status of life. We want to know our place in life, where we fall and how we measure up to others because we lack a sense of security that should come from within.
True, some of us compare from a lack of confidence. People who struggle with comparison may not realize how blessed, gifted and talented they are because they're too others-focused. Many others may compare because of their competitive and perfectionist nature. Type-A personalities are driven by this nature. You're often the best at things, the go-to leader, the alpha male or female of your group or community so your natural ability to compare comes from your desire to always be on top. Being the best gives you a sense of security, but it is not a security that lasts. No matter why you compare we must acknowledge that comparison never leads to true humility, which pleases God.
Comparison is also a thief. You've heard it said: "Comparison kills contentment." "Comparison is the thief of joy." "Comparison kills your influence."
Comparison steals, kills and destroys our minds and our hearts. Because of this, we see comparison as a tool of the enemy. Your enemy hates you and will stop at nothing to diminish the life of God in you, the full and abundant life He promises. When we give in to comparison we give the enemy a foothold in our lives and can't experience all that God has for us.
We may not intentionally compare ourselves but the temptation and danger of comparison are always before us because comparison is a sin. But like any sin, we must commit ourselves to a lifestyle away from sin and away from comparison.
Do you compare from lack of confidence, or from a false sense of security to be the best?
