It's official, I've finished my first year of college and the summer is winding down so it's time to head into my second. This past year has changed me a lot as a person, as many who reflect on their freshman year will tell you. Although it technically wasn't my first time away from home, it was my first time truly being on my own. I went through a lot of highs and a lot of lows and ultimately came out on the other side doing just fine.

When I got home this summer, I remember telling every family member, every old classmate, basically everyone, that I was seriously considering leaving the school at which I started. Here are some of the reasons why:

1. I really thought I could do better.

Maybe in my heart of hearts I still think this. I go to a state school, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, coming out of a rigorous high school like I did meant I thought I would be challenged all the time. That's just not how it goes. I was comfortable and not nearly as rip-my-own-hair-out-sob-into-a-cup-of-coffee stressed as I thought I was going to be. I felt a pressure on me to do more, as if going to a school I loved wasn't enough after coming out of a school so hard. I thought of applying to Yale and other schools like that. I was really pushing it.

However, I realized I was already pushing myself enough, I just wasn't letting myself break like I'd grown so accustomed to doing.

2. Everyone told me I could do better.

While I was going through my first two semesters, I remember hearing a lot of comments from family members, friends, old teachers. They all said the same thing, 'It must be easy for you down at Kentucky!' The truth is, it wasn't that easy. Although I wasn't challenged every second of every day, I still put everything I had into every paper, every (okay, most) reading assignment, everything. I got stressed and I got B's and C's and maybe even one D. I came out with a great GPA because I pushed myself to get there. However, every time I would tell someone my GPA they'd say that exact thing.

I was happy with my GPA. I was happy with what I'd earned.

3. My year was bad.

All school related things aside, my year was bad. I had a lot of bad things happen one after the other after the other. In fact, some of them are still happening! I think a lot of people go through this kind of a thing during their first few years away from home. Going through a bad year on top of my freshman year of college made me blame my school.

On the other hand, I did have great people that helped me get through it.

4. I thought I wasn't happy.

Going to college can be kind of lonely, no matter how many people you meet, no matter how busy you keep yourself. I had made my solid group of friends and I was still doing things I loved, yet something felt off.

I think everyone can relate to these feelings in one way or another. To me, they were so overwhelming that I blamed everything around me but myself. I had to leave, I had to change schools, change friends, change everything. But somewhere along the way of looking at other schools I had a change of heart. I didn't want to leave.

I started remembering the genuinely good times I'd had during my freshman year. I remembered how hard it was to say goodbye to one of my best friends who decided to transfer. I remember how the food wasn't that bad, the people were actually kind of great, the campus was pretty beautiful when you looked past the construction. So, that being said, here are some of the reasons I didn't want to leave:

1. My very best friends.

The beautiful people I had become very close with would be too hard to leave. The people who brighten my day everyday, who will sit in the dining hall with me for hours and hours on end, the people who climb a tree to touch a squirrel (another story for another time,) and the people who love me unconditionally. I, of course, have my best friends I made in high school, but there's a bond that feels deeper and more... grown-up, I guess, with these people. All those bad things mentioned above made me cry. A lot. Everyone's had one of those bad, embarrassing, mascara-faced breakdowns, so let's not pretend you can't relate. As soon as I started crying, just for time framing, let's say around mid-April, I noticed how many people were there to truly love and support me. Those people are worth sticking around for because I'm lucky to have them in my life. They make Kentucky my place. They're my people.

2. It became home.

Now, obviously it didn't take much for me to want to stay. I'd say that's a good thing. The little amount of pros listed here can outweigh any amount of cons I could come up with. I had learned the campus inside and out. My dorm room became cozy. The library literally became an extension of myself. When I thought about leaving originally, I was excited by the idea. However, the more I thought about leaving campus, leaving my professors to whom I'd grown close to, leaving Lexington, leaving my friends, I became sad.

I really genuinely love my school, and no matter how many hardships I have to go through, it will always be My Old Kentucky Home.