Why It's Totally Okay to Have More Than One Best Friend

Why It's Totally Okay to Have More Than One Best Friend

I got 99 problems but a bestie ain't one.
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BFF, Bestie, Bae--no matter what you call them, a best friend is someone who you can tell anything to and who is there for you no matter what.

We have been taught from an early age that we are only supposed to have one, so called ‘best’ friend, and that having multiple best friends is out of the ordinary or just plain wrong.

Well here I stand today, typing away, ready to to break this unfair expectation that has been imposed upon me and others like me who favor the polygamist best friend lifestyle. I mean, if I were getting married tomorrow, I would probably have ten or more bridesmaids (lets hope my future husband has a lot of friends). This is not because I can’t choose one friend to be the closest to, it’s because I have multiple best friends all of whom serve different roles in my life.

When it comes to friendship, who better to look at as a model than the cast of Friends themselves. Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Monica, Joey and Phoebe make having more than one best friend look easy. Each friendship has a different dynamic, a different way of working for each person, all of which allow different sides of each person to shine through.

I know it might not make sense logistically to call multiple people the ‘best’ at something, but I’m going to choose to throw all those technicalities out the window and really go with my heart on this one.

My original best friends came from my K-8th school. We did everything from play dates, to sleepovers, to studying for our Bat Mitzvah’s together, and these girls became like my sisters. All of our memories formed around each other, and having only one best friend was never an option from an early age because I was always part of such a close group.

When I went to high school, this bond never dissapated, though I met my first really close male friend whose friendship I considered equivalent to those of my female friends.

Moving on to college, I was able to meet more like-minded people as me because I was kind of the odd one out interest-wise with my friends from home. At my new school, I was for the first time in my whole life surrounded by people who shared my interests and connected to me on a different, but not less substantial level, and I have met some of my best friends from this chapter of my life.

Then there is family who falls into this category as well. My cousin and sister have fulfilled the best friend role for me, because lets face it, nothing brings friends together more than bonding over how annoying/embaressing your parents and relatives are.

And now, as I go into my senior year, it’s nice to be able to reflect back on my high school and earlier college years and look at the way all of my ‘best’ friendships have developed over time.

No matter where I go, I know I have a best friend that will support me no matter what. A best friend that will be willing to go into an in-depth analysis of The Bachelorette with me, who won’t judge me when I cry hysterically during each episode. A best friend who I can tell my most embaressing stories to (and there are plenty). A best friend who I can live with. A best friend who I can travel the world with (and get a little lost along the way). A best friend who I can make laugh until they pee their pants. A best friend that I trust and value wholeheartedly. A best friend who is just that: The best.

But despite the differences, all the various personality types somehow mesh well with mine in one way or another. Each best friend is like a puzzle piece to my heart (so corny, but that’s me), and each one comes together to complete an important facet of who I am.

You have someone to fulfill different needs, and someone who is there for you in a given situation where another friend might not be. Now I’m not saying here that best friends shouldn’t always be there for you, however, some friends are more suited for certain things than others are.

My friends from home are like a part of my family. They come over to my house and raid my pantry like it’s their own, do homework with my sister, play mah-jongg with my mom, and sing off-key on the piano with my dad.

My friends from school also love going out, Disneyland, country music (and some disney classics) and have similar career-goals as I do. Through dorm life and my sorority, I have been able to develop friendships (be them with roommates, sisters or bigs and littles) who I know will be a part of my life forever.

When it comes down to it, it’s pretty simple. We are not in first grade anymore, screaming on the playground and being forced by some annoying friend to decide right then and there which of all our friends is our favorite.

I’m not Meredith or Christina on Greys Anatomy, I don’t just have my one ‘person’, I have multiple people. And those people have made me the person I am today.

So in the end, stick to my motto: “You choose, you lose”. Surround yourself with people who love you and who can give you what you need in life, and who you can do the same for in return. That is what it truly means to have and to be a best friend.

And if that can be said for more than one person, then so be it.

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To the guy that shot my brother...

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To the guy that shot my brother,

On January 9, 2019 my families entire life changed with one phone call. The phone call that my little brother had been shot in the face, no other details. We didn't need any other details. The woman on the phone who called us in full panic told us where he was so we went, as soon as possible. I don't think it helped that not even 10 min prior I talked to Zach on the phone.. kind of irritated with him, and the ONE TIME I didn't say 'I love you' as we hung up. Could've been the last time we ever spoke.. I remember pulling up to the hospital thinking 'this can't be real' 'it's not our Zach' 'this is just a dream Sarah, WAKE UP' I'd close my eyes really tight just to open them, I was still in the hospital emergency parking lot. I could still hear the ambulance sirens coming. It was all real.

The day our life's changed was definitely a test of faith. A test of how strong we were, as a family. I sat in that waiting room ready to see the damage that has been done to my sweet baby brother. Because at that point we had no idea how lucky he got. That glimpse of seeing Zach will haunt me forever. How helpless I felt in that exact moment frequently wakes me up from these horrific dreams I've been having ever since that day. That is a moment burned into my me and families brain forever.

You always hear about these things in the movies or on the news, a house being shot up, someone shooting another innocent person, not to care if they died on your watch. But we found ourselves on the news.. We have been confined to the hospital since that day. Running on barely any sleep, taking shifts of sleep so we don't make ourselves sick taking care of Zach. Watching him suffer. Undergoing surgeries, to repair the damage you did.

Before I proceed let me tell you a little something about the man you shot.

Zachary Keith Wright. A blonde hair blue eyed boy. Who could potentially be the most annoying human on the planet (possibly coming from his sister). A man who loves his God first, loves his family second. Perfect by no means, but almost perfect to me. A 19 year old who was to graduate high school this month. After graduation he was prepping to leave for Marine boot camp in the summer.. being in the military has been Zach's dream since he could talk. Literally. Running around, playing war with underwear on our heads, and finger guns. Some would say we looked like natural born assassins.. growing up he has been a country boy. Let me tell ya country to the core. He loves this country like he loves his family. He believes in helping people, taking charge in what's right, and never leaving a brother behind. He's lived by that his whole life. Until now....

The day you shot him. The day not only did you change my brothers life, you changed his families life too. The day you almost ripped my brother out of this world... for what? A misunderstanding? Because you've let something take ahold of your life that you can't let go you're willing to kill someone innocent over? Luckily for him, his guardian angels were protecting him in your time of cowardice. There were 3 times that day he should've died, the time you shot him, the time you tried to shoot him again as he stared you directly in the face, (even tho he couldn't talk I know you could read his eyes, and he still intimidated you. That's why you tried to pull the trigger again) and the time he was running out of the house. But he lived. A man who was shot in the face, didn't lay there helpless, didn't scream in agony. That MAN walked to the neighbors to get help. Why? Because he's a MAN, and because he's on this earth for a reason.

It's gonna sound a little strange not only to you, but the audience who is reading this. I must say thank you. Even in this situation, this was the best outcome we could get. He gets to live. He will make a full recovery. He will graduate. And he will go off into the Marines. You united my family together. Closer than ever. Thank you. You tested our faith and brought us closer to our God. Thank you. Because of your moment of weakness, you showed us what prayer could do. Heal anything. Thank you. This was a bump in the road, and a helluva way to kick off our year of 2019. But here we are.. all laying in the hospital. I'm looking around as mom is sleeping in her recliner chair exhasted but still here, Zach his awake playing his xbox all hooked up to machines, fighting to heal and get better. And of course I'm writing this letter to you.

See you in trial,

From the girl whose brother you shot.

'Fight the good fight' - 1 Tim 6:12 🤟🏼💙

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