Why It's Totally Okay to Have More Than One Best Friend

Why It's Totally Okay to Have More Than One Best Friend

I got 99 problems but a bestie ain't one.
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BFF, Bestie, Bae--no matter what you call them, a best friend is someone who you can tell anything to and who is there for you no matter what.

We have been taught from an early age that we are only supposed to have one, so called ‘best’ friend, and that having multiple best friends is out of the ordinary or just plain wrong.

Well here I stand today, typing away, ready to to break this unfair expectation that has been imposed upon me and others like me who favor the polygamist best friend lifestyle. I mean, if I were getting married tomorrow, I would probably have ten or more bridesmaids (lets hope my future husband has a lot of friends). This is not because I can’t choose one friend to be the closest to, it’s because I have multiple best friends all of whom serve different roles in my life.

When it comes to friendship, who better to look at as a model than the cast of Friends themselves. Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Monica, Joey and Phoebe make having more than one best friend look easy. Each friendship has a different dynamic, a different way of working for each person, all of which allow different sides of each person to shine through.

I know it might not make sense logistically to call multiple people the ‘best’ at something, but I’m going to choose to throw all those technicalities out the window and really go with my heart on this one.

My original best friends came from my K-8th school. We did everything from play dates, to sleepovers, to studying for our Bat Mitzvah’s together, and these girls became like my sisters. All of our memories formed around each other, and having only one best friend was never an option from an early age because I was always part of such a close group.

When I went to high school, this bond never dissapated, though I met my first really close male friend whose friendship I considered equivalent to those of my female friends.

Moving on to college, I was able to meet more like-minded people as me because I was kind of the odd one out interest-wise with my friends from home. At my new school, I was for the first time in my whole life surrounded by people who shared my interests and connected to me on a different, but not less substantial level, and I have met some of my best friends from this chapter of my life.

Then there is family who falls into this category as well. My cousin and sister have fulfilled the best friend role for me, because lets face it, nothing brings friends together more than bonding over how annoying/embaressing your parents and relatives are.

And now, as I go into my senior year, it’s nice to be able to reflect back on my high school and earlier college years and look at the way all of my ‘best’ friendships have developed over time.

No matter where I go, I know I have a best friend that will support me no matter what. A best friend that will be willing to go into an in-depth analysis of The Bachelorette with me, who won’t judge me when I cry hysterically during each episode. A best friend who I can tell my most embaressing stories to (and there are plenty). A best friend who I can live with. A best friend who I can travel the world with (and get a little lost along the way). A best friend who I can make laugh until they pee their pants. A best friend that I trust and value wholeheartedly. A best friend who is just that: The best.

But despite the differences, all the various personality types somehow mesh well with mine in one way or another. Each best friend is like a puzzle piece to my heart (so corny, but that’s me), and each one comes together to complete an important facet of who I am.

You have someone to fulfill different needs, and someone who is there for you in a given situation where another friend might not be. Now I’m not saying here that best friends shouldn’t always be there for you, however, some friends are more suited for certain things than others are.

My friends from home are like a part of my family. They come over to my house and raid my pantry like it’s their own, do homework with my sister, play mah-jongg with my mom, and sing off-key on the piano with my dad.

My friends from school also love going out, Disneyland, country music (and some disney classics) and have similar career-goals as I do. Through dorm life and my sorority, I have been able to develop friendships (be them with roommates, sisters or bigs and littles) who I know will be a part of my life forever.

When it comes down to it, it’s pretty simple. We are not in first grade anymore, screaming on the playground and being forced by some annoying friend to decide right then and there which of all our friends is our favorite.

I’m not Meredith or Christina on Greys Anatomy, I don’t just have my one ‘person’, I have multiple people. And those people have made me the person I am today.

So in the end, stick to my motto: “You choose, you lose”. Surround yourself with people who love you and who can give you what you need in life, and who you can do the same for in return. That is what it truly means to have and to be a best friend.

And if that can be said for more than one person, then so be it.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.

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They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch

Bitch

What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong


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