"Wow, you guys must really trust each other."
"Don't you get, you know, lonely?"
"Do you really think it will be worth it?"
For anyone in a long-distance relationship, these questions are unfortunately all too common. Along with the questions come the "looks." The ones that show some sympathy, and just a little bit of disbelief. What many people who question LDRs don't understand is that we CHOSE to be in the relationship. I went over a thousand times in my head the pros and cons of starting a new relationship right before the beginning of the semester. My boyfriend and I had dozens of conversations, I broke down to my mom at least once a week about my worries, and yes, I most definitely got lonely. In spite all of that, there's still a silver lining that I always keep in mind: I have someone who loves me. Regardless of the 491 miles of distance between us, we have love. We make it work.
Relationships in general take work, and although long-distance relationships take a little more, it's worth every second. Loving someone is a constant, regardless if you fall asleep next to them or you say your goodnights over Skype. Being away from each other makes you appreciate so much more than ever thought possible. I am able to be independent, and I have the chance to grow as an individual. I don't have a boyfriend who "completes me." I have one who is there after a long day who listens and encourages me. I have a person who gives me an outside view when I'm making a decision, who lets me know when I'm thinking too deep into things, and who is also quick to let me know when I get hangry and am being a little grumpy. Honesty is tough to come by, and in order to be have a successful LDR, honesty is high on the list of important aspects of the relationship.
Of course, I can be walking across campus and get a twinge of sadness when I see another couple together, but my mood turns right around when I get a call or a text, and think about the next time I will see the person whose name pops up with heart eyes and lovey emojis. It is so worth it. I have reminders every day that it is.
There are simply different ways to "date" when you're apart and attend different colleges. Movie dates are still an option if you have a smartphone, laptop, gaming device that plays movies, and a TV. Video chat is a personal favorite of mine. I play a movie on my laptop and video chat on my phone, and we watch the movie together. Of course, there isn't any cuddling or hand holding, but little opportunities like that mean the world. My boyfriend and I communicate over an average of four different ways a day, and that's excluding the times we send care packages, letters, and cards in the mail. Snapchat, Skype, Facebook, and other social media sites make it easy to feel closer, even states away.
If anyone ever tells you that your relationship won't last because you're apart for months at a time, just know that they probably haven't had anything worth waiting for like that. LDRs take a special type of person, and if you and your significant other are that kind of person, hold onto it and fight for what you have. It's so rare to find something worth the seven-hour drives, crazy schedules, and the empty side of the bed at night. That's all the more reason to hold tight to the special relationship you have. I promise that every lonely moment, every mile, and every minute spent missing them is worth it. The moment you see that face-splitting grin as you meet them at the airport, bus station, and even just your house is proof. The happiness you feel when you do get to be a "real couple" is incomparable, and you both come out so much stronger when the days of distance are over.
So to anyone who asks those questions:
Yes, I trust him.
Yes, I definitely get lonely.
And yes, he is definitely worth every hardship, every minute, and every single mile.
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."
