Why I'm Thankful For My Mind This Year
Start writing a post

Why I’m Thankful for my Mind This Year

Thanksgiving 2011:

The day I had been avoiding for as long as I could remember finally came. A day filled with family, laughter, football, alcohol, and most notably, food. Sounds fantastic, right? To most people, this holiday brings smiles, distant family, and memorable stories together. For me, it brought anxiety, a fake smile, and, common amongst everyone else, a hungry belly.


As soon as the day started I counted down the hours, actually the minutes, until it came to an end. Food consumed my mind. What to eat, what not eat, how much of what to eat, how I could avoid certain foods, and what foods were completely “off limits.” As family arrived my anxiety got worse and my heartbeat grew faster. I explained the shaking and coldness occurring throughout my entire body to others as “I’m just excited,” and “it’s unbearably cold outside.” Realistically, my body was in the process of shutting down to enter survival mode because I hadn’t eaten in about two days. Pictures were taken, hugs and kisses were exchanged, a toast was said, and food was served. My mind ran wild. Placing food like potatoes and stuffing on my plate made me nauseas. Everything going on surrounding me was blocked out and the only thing that mattered in my mind was how I was about to handle throwing away my food without anyone noticing. I had been doing this for a while, I had a method, but with so many people around it was a little harder to accomplish. Of course, not a single person had any idea that I was uncomfortable and nervous; I was beyond skilled at hiding my emotions. I ate small pieces of veggies here and there as I filtered in an out of conversations around the table, waiting for the perfect time to get up and dispose of my, basically full, plate of food.


As soon as I had the chance, I got up, threw my food away, and didn’t think about it again. Later in the evening we all discussed things we were thankful for in life. Instantly, I thought, “I’m thankful for being skinny.” Family left, leftovers were taken, and I went to bed, as always, with a growling stomach.


Thanksgiving 2015:

The day had finally arrived I had been waiting for all week, Thanksgiving! I woke up and went to my high school football game, where I was reunited with all my past friends, second families, and coaches. The weather was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. The game came to an end and it was time to start helping mom prepare for dinner later in the evening. I came home to a kitchen that smelled like turkey and gravy heaven that was filled with family I hadn’t seen in months.
Seeing everyone, especially my grandparents, brought a true smile to my face, no more of that fake-smile nonsense. Once the food was done and ready to be eaten I flocked to grab my plate, filling it a mile high with mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and, of course, turkey. Each and every bite was delicious. We all laughed and told stories about childhood times, and made fun of each other for the things we did over the past year. It was then, in that moment, I realized what I was most thankful for this year. My mind. I was actually taking in and participating in what was going on around me at the dinner table…something I didn’t have the privilege of doing just three years prior. I was purely cheerful.

There is a mix of amazement and concern regarding the extent to how beyond powerful our minds can be. For Thanksgiving 2011, the only thing that made me happy was that I was thin. Looking back, not only does that disgust me, but also has me in complete and utter disbelief because of the mindset I have today, and how much more things in life, actually important things, mean to me. I am grateful for the sun rising and setting each morning. I am grateful for the friends and family I have that have done nothing but support me to get me to the point in life I am at today. I am grateful for my house, the food served to me, and the clothes I wear that help me survive each and every day. I am thankful for my health…. it isn’t something that everyone has, and I know that from just three years ago. Above all, I am thankful for my mind. For realizing there is far more to be thankful for in life then the size of my body. For allowing me to take in and appreciate all that is going on around me. To let me wake up each morning and think to myself how wonderful it is to be alive.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.

4022

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

2283
The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.

7893

On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I’m OK With Hooking Up On The First Date, But That DOESN'T Make Me Easy

2020 has been a crazy year. And yet, women being comfortable with our bodies still seems to be a big topic in mass media.

284

I'm an adult. There is no reason I can't have consensual sex with someone on the first date. It does NOT make me easy, and it does not mean I'll have sex with just anyone the first time I meet them.

Keep Reading... Show less

I was so excited to vote in my local primary election in August. I eagerly researched my local candidates, combed the newspaper for profiles and policy positions, and shared infographics on Insta about voting deadlines. I considered myself a keen voter.

Keep Reading... Show less

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

5203
Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinologist who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

This $40 Silk Sleep Mask Gives Me The Best Sleep I've Ever Had — I Never Go Anywhere Without It

Crane And Canopy just redefined the meaning of "beauty sleep".

3898

- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Self-Care Kit Every College Student Should Have Handy In 2020

Make sure you have everything you need to relieve some tension.

2118

As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.

1574

The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments