There's A Reason Women Are Often 'Cold' Or 'Rude' To Men
Start writing a post
Politics

There's A Reason Women Are Often 'Cold' Or 'Rude' To Men

No, I'm not just being a bitch.

1079
There's A Reason Women Are Often 'Cold' Or 'Rude' To Men
Brooke Cagle
Inspired by Lily Evan's Twitter thread "Why Some Women Are "Rude" or "Cold" to Men in Public"

It was my senior year of high school and my best friend Emma* decided to introduce me to her other best friend, Daniel*. The two had been in an off-and-on situation for years, and I was curious to put a face to the guy I'd heard about throughout high school. The three of us ended up video calling that night using Google Hangouts. It was a bit awkward, and we ended up talking about pizza for a few minutes before hanging up. The next day, Daniel messaged me on Google Hangouts. Our conversation went like this:

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I said back.

"How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Good."

I wasn't sure what to say after that, so I didn't reply.

I didn't think anything of it until two weeks later when my boyfriend and I broke up. That night, Daniel called me, and I picked up, thinking he was checking up on me because of the breakup. Instead, he started speaking right away, sounding desperate, "Isabella, I'm in love with you. I've been thinking about you every day. Will you date me?"

To say the least, I was shocked. We barely knew each other.

"I'm sorry, but I don't like you romantically, and even if I did, I just got out of a relationship, so I'm not ready to date yet," I said. Daniel hung up.

He said I had to go on a date with him because he'd
already planned it and not only was his family happy he had a date,
they were also enthusiastic to meet his new girlfriend.
I was horrified.

I figured that was the end of it until he texted me that night saying he would wait as long as I needed for us to date. I was shocked. I had just told this dude that I wasn't interested in him, and he was still going. On top of that, he was my best friend’s crush. I didn't respond, hoping he'd get the message.

He didn’t. He started messaging me over and over again, asking if we could go on a date. Finally, I messaged him, "No," hoping he'd stop.

Daniel responded, saying I had to go on a date with him because he’d already planned it and not only was his family happy he had a date, they were also enthusiastic to meet his new girlfriend. I was horrified and didn't know what to say. Emma had been trying to get him to go on a date with her for months, and he’d said he was too busy, yet he had set up a date for us in a matter of days.

I told Daniel that I didn’t want to date him and he should be focusing on Emma, not me. I hung up. He started calling me every day. His high school was close to mine, and I was scared he would try to see me. I messaged Daniel asking him to stop calling me, and he responded, saying he would never give up on us. A month passed, and he was still messaging me daily.

I decided not to tell Emma because she still liked him and I was afraid it would hurt her, but it turns out it was in vain. Emma and I were hanging out at school one day when she looked at me and said, “What’s going on between you guys? He won’t stop texting me asking about you. He keeps asking me what you’re doing and why you won’t respond.” I felt horrible. I didn’t know how to tell her that he was only interested in me romantically and that he was a creep without hurting her, but I knew I had to be honest.

“He’s been harassing me for months online, and he won’t stop. I don’t know what to do. I just want him to stop. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. I was afraid it would hurt you," I said. Emma told me she would ask Daniel to stop. A few weeks later, he finally did.

I had no way of knowing Daniel would end up stalking me. I was nice to him the way I would be nice to a stranger yet he took my social politeness completely wrong.

Unfortunately, for women like me, experiences like this are universal.

I'm not the first person or the last who will be harassed out of nowhere. Because guys so often use our social politeness to initiate harassment, many women have adapted by being rude, cold, or stand-offish to guys they don't know.

Yes, we're seen as bitches, but would you rather be called a bitch by some random guy and be safe at night or be socially polite and get stalked? In an ideal world, women could be kind to strangers without fear, but our society is not there yet. I have been in this situation countless times, and you never see it coming because there is no possible way to. This is why some women are called "rude" or "cold" or "standoffish," because we've had to adapt this way to survive. It's not what we want. We don't have that privilege. It's what we need to stay safe.

*names were altered for confidentiality
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

3366
6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

5101
Kinder Self - Eyes
Pexels

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

24164
Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

3829
21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less
Politics

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

5814
inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments