My first few days away from home were pretty rough, to say the least. I actually remember telling my mom that I didn't think I was going to make it. I felt so isolated and immediately regretted choosing a school that was over three hours away from home. Of course, my feelings changed in one of the most drastic ways. Since starting college, I've grown so much as a person. I love being here. I love the freedom that I have to go to bed whenever I want. I love being able to stay in bed all day and not move from my cozy cocoon of happiness. I love my friends. I honestly can't imagine being anywhere else but Fort Hays State, in fact, as weird as it may seem, my hometown doesn't really even feel like home anymore. I've made a new home.

Now don't get me wrong, I do miss my friends, parents and most of all, my brother, but in all honesty, I don't miss the town. I've quickly come to the realization that going home means stress, small town drama and way too much anxiety. I can only speak for myself when I say this but each time I go home, I find it easier and easier to leave. I'm fairly certain this is because every time I go home, I find myself reverting back to the person that I was in high school and I've quickly grown to hate her since moving away. I feel that I am a completely different person now than I was and I love that. Prior to starting my new life in Hays, I never really believed anyone when they said that college is the time to reinvent yourself; I thought I had such a great handle on who I was that I wasn't going to change no matter what the circumstances. I was wrong. Hays, Kansas has taught me to be even more independent and adventurous while also teaching me the importance of caution.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't have grown up as much as I have since leaving home, but moving so far away from the only thing that I've known was definitely a catalyst for a lot of that growth. I've come to enjoy the fact that I can't always hide from my problems. This is partly because Hays really is in the middle of nowhere and I don't know where else I'd go but also because I've matured. I've learned how to deal with my problems as a dignified adult and I know that if I stayed close to home, I would still be depending on my parents to do that for me. I don't hate the people or the things that I left at home, I just hate the habits that I seem to fall back into whenever I make the trip. However, I do know that this realization won't prevent me from making the trek every few weeks. Because we all know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder- I guess I'm just waiting for that to happen.