Why I Am So Scared to Pick My Major

Choosing a major makes me want to yell and scream in frustration. There are too many choices. As a little girl, I was set in the fact that I wanted to be a pet groomer. I even did a project about it in second grade! I drew a picture of myself, as well as a second grader can, in a little pet groomer office. I thought in those few days, weeks, or months, however long it was that I was living out this dream, that I would become a pet groomer and stylist. I would be a pet groomer until I died. Then, I began to watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC and play with my bride Barbies. I changed my path and knew I wanted to work at Kleinfeld Bridal in New York City and become a bridal consultant. I realized it was a little unrealistic for me, but maybe not! You never know! When I entered into high school, my dad got remarried and I got to be involved with a lot of the wedding planning. I then gravitated towards wanting to be a wedding planner because I would still get to live out my dream to work with weddings!

There is one huge road block in the way of me living out any of these dreams. You guessed it! It's picking a major! When I was a senior in high school, I took a year-long psychology class with an amazing, funny teacher. She made psychology so enjoyable and interesting! I was dealing with a great amount of anxiety personally during this time, and while I was in this class I got to understand what was going on in my crazy brain. When it came for me to graduate, I knew I would be a psychology major. I want to help people! A psychology major can help me with that! Right?

It's the question I get at every party or event I go to. It comes from people I've never met, my family, my friends, and my peers. They all get the same shrug and "I'm not sure yet." Am I the only one who doesn't know?

Then, I got to college, and I took Psychology 100, the most basic psychology class any college could offer. However, I realized I can't do this! I can't dig deep and read between the lines. After my psychology major dreams were dashed, I thought I could be a business major! That would allow me to do anything in the world that I wanted! Here's what stopped me in my tracks: four letters and whole lot of numbers, MATH! I can add, subtract, multiply, and divide, but in no way can I understand marketing or accounting. I have seen what my friends have had to deal with in those classes, and it was enough to scare me off.

Now, the major that is sparking the most interest is communications and digital studies. That is the full name of the major offered at Mary Washington. What scares me the most about finding my major and declaring it is, of course, what other people will think. I am so paralyzed by the thoughts other people have about my choices. I don't want to hear from family or friends that I can't do it or that it will be too hard. I don't want to be told that I won't be able to do it. I don't want to be told that I will have a really hard time finding a profession or career with the major I choose. That is already the part that scares me the most. I am not ten-years-old. My parents can't choose for me or sign a piece of paper that says what I will do for the rest of my life. There is no permission slip for a career or major declaration. I am officially twenty-years-old. I have decide this on my own, with some help of course, but I have to now decide the age-old question, "Elizabeth, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I will continue to explore my options and discover what I like and what I can't stand. That's all part of the journey, right? Well, I hope so! Something that gives me comfort is knowing that by this time next year, I will have declared a major and if it turns out to be the wrong fit, I can change it! Let's see where this journey takes me!

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