Being friends with an ex is like having a constant headache that even the strongest mix of sunglasses and Advil will not fix. Why should we waste our time on someone we can no longer stand? 

An ex-boyfriend never makes a good friend. They're so emotionally invested in your past that they make your future that much more difficult to reach. That being said, it is completely acceptable to cut off ties with that annoying ex who keeps on asking you to "grab coffee and catch up." Here's why:

I have never been a “serial dater.” That is, I’ve had a total of two boyfriends (excluding the pointless middle school romances.) One lasted for about two months; the other lasted two years. Both of these boyfriends taught me things about myself and relationships, but neither ended well. 

My disdain for ex-boyfriends is most likely circumstantial, but even before these relationships, I never understood the concept of being friends with an ex. Unless the reason for the breakup is because he turned out to be gay, then I wouldn’t waste my time on someone who had a swing and a miss when it came to treating me decently.  

So my question is this: Why try to make a friendship out of a relationship that couldn’t function on a deeper level? 

Ladies, let me tell you that it is completely, 100% OK to stop talking to a guy after you’ve broken up. The same goes for you, guys. Most people’s reactions to this statement are along the lines of, “But you two shared something so special for so long, you owe it to each other to at least stay friends.” NOPE. I completely disagree. What do you owe this person? For whatever reason, your relationship ended. That’s it. It’s done. It all boils down to this: if you don’t want to be friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, then you don’t have to be. It’s your life, it’s your choice - feel free to do what you will. You are no longer accountable for your former significant other. 

I’m not saying that every time you see your ex, you should yell at them or completely ignore them, no - I’m saying that there’s a significant difference between being “friends” and being “friendly.” By all means, if you see a guy you used to date while walking to class, a casual hello and a smile is absolutely acceptable. In fact, I firmly believe that that is how you should treat everyone you know. But if you’re taking time out of your schedule to spend time with an ex, then I would strongly recommend reconsidering your decision. 

When a couple breaks up, they are still the same people they have always been. Yes, they have learned new lessons and gained new experiences, but at their core they are the same. The dynamic between those two people will not change just because the label of their relationship has changed from “couple” to “friends.” They’re still the same people. The friendship will inevitably fall apart. 

I say this from both experience and observation. My best friend has had a lot of boyfriends, and she always makes an effort to retain a friendship with them after they’ve broken up. For a little while it’s smooth sailing - they hang out from time to time, they text, they see each other when they’re both out on the weekends. Then, somehow, it all falls apart. The same issues they had pre-breakup resurface, and the friendship eventually ends. This happens because your previous significant other knows too much about you to just be nonchalant about the things you do and the choices you make. Eventually they will feel the need to step in where they think you’re out of line, and chaos will ensue. 

It is much better to just stay friendly, but not friends. If you feel obligated to be friends with an ex, then that’s a big red flag telling you that you shouldn’t. Always be friendly with these people because there was a time where you deeply cared for one another, but always keep in the back of your mind that there is a good reason why you prefer to be on your own than with them.