Why “Relationship Jumping” Isn’t Healthy

Why “Relationship Jumping” Isn’t Healthy

Immediately jumping from relationship to relationship causes you to skip over some important lessons.

I had a friend in high school who jumped from relationship to relationship, meaning that as soon as one relationship ended, she couldn’t wait to start another one with someone else. Although immediately beginning a new relationship with a new guy may have helped ease, and possibly diminish, her pain from her previous relationship(s), over time I realized how more and more insecure she became. I think this is because she never really took the time after her breakups to process what happened. 

Every relationship and every breakup is different, so it’s hard to speak on behalf of everyone. But after my first breakup from a serious boyfriend, I dealt with it in three stages: processing the relationship/breakup, loving myself single, and assessing the ended relationship in order to start a new one. 

First, I emotionally came to grips with the breakup. There were days where I sat in my bedroom smearing my white pillowcase with mascara as I cried for hours. But those days were also the days I became closer and closer to figuring out why the relationship wasn’t healthy, why it ended the way it did, and what I wanted to do from there. There were also days when I would spend hours at the gym, trying every exercise and workout routine I could to release the anger I had for him and our breakup. And again, those days were also the days I became less and less angry, sad, and confused about everything, because I was actually dealing with my emotions. Based on my personal experience, it dawned on me that by immediately jumping into another relationship, my friend never dealt with the emotions caused by her previous relationship and breakup. 

After I emotionally dealt with the breakup, I began to feel confident about myself without a boyfriend. I’m only a teenager; I have the rest of my life to be with someone ... so why not enjoy the time I have single? I found that loving my single status instilled closer and stronger friendships with my girl and guy friends, because I had a lot more time to spend with them. As I spent more and more time with them, I realized how important strong friendships are. Strong friendships not only create laughter and everlasting memories, they also create stability and a sense of security in life. It was so easy to feel comfortable with myself without a boyfriend because I had such great friends who I knew had my back. I feel that this post-breakup stage is crucial, because if you can’t find stability within yourself, how do you expect to find stability in a relationship shared with someone else?

After feeling confident with myself and taking time for myself and my friends, I finally felt ready to think about a future relationship. The more time I took off from a relationship, the more time I had to understand what qualities I wanted out of someone and what kind of relationship I wanted. I believe that understanding these things is what creates better, healthier relationships in the future. A friend of mine said after her breakup, “He was my biggest mistake but my biggest lesson.” The only reason she learned anything was because she took the time to discover the mistakes that were made. 

If you don’t take any time to deal with and process your past relationships and breakups, how can you create better relationships? Think about it. 

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You Shouldn't Have To Fix Anyone When It Comes To True Love

Look for the signs, trust your gut, and never settle

"I can change him!" Says every girl that has seen a red flag with their boyfriend. We all think we can "fix" them, but truthfully, you should never have to change or fix anyone, no matter what the case may be.

Is this just a red flag or can this ruin our relationship forever? Can we work through it together or are we just going to walk away when things get a tad difficult?

1. He treats other people badly, including his family.

2. You've heard of past relationships being abusive. Watch the signs.

3. They're too immature to find ambition for anything.

4. Your futures don't line up together.

5. How he treats his mom is how he is going to treat you. How she acts or talks to you, is how it's going to be for the rest of your life. Are you ready for that, sis?

6. He doesn't care about your day.

7. Doesn't ask to make plans first or contact you first.

8. Are they being truthful or are they making promises they can't keep?

9. Love or lust?

10. If they are making disrespectful comments as "jokes," are they really jokes?

11. He doesn't want you around his friends or even introduces you.

12. His history of relationships is either nonexistent or they're all short-term.

13. If sex is all that he's there for, leave him in the bedroom.

14. If you can't have serious and deep conversations about life and the future, that's probably a major issue.

15. Jealous of your friends.

16. Has controlling behaviors-has to look at your phone or know where you're at all times.

17. He doesn't get along with your friends or family.

18. Isn't supportive of your ambitions or future.

19. His actions don't prove his words.

20. Talks badly about his ex. (Remember he once "loved" her, too).

21. He's rude to strangers; waiters: doesn't tip them, say please and thank you

22. Obsessed with his appearance.

23. Arrives late to everything.

24. Never compliments you.

25. Only cares about what they want to do, never do what you want.

26. Is constantly angry or upset with you.

27. Blames you for things you had no part in.

28. Too needy

29. Too much TV/video games

30. Doesn't spend enough time with you.

All of this to say, trust yourself and your gut feelings. If something feels off or wrong about someone, it probably is. Also, these aren't all deal breakers or red flags for everyone. Everyone's relationship is different and just because there is something or multiple things on the list going on in your relationship, doesn't mean you can't work through your issues and they may not be as major as you think.

Learn your self worth and respect yourself enough to know what you deserve from someone and you will never have to question, is this a red flag I'm seeing? Or is this something too major I need to break it off?

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8 Chipotle Meals To Bring Your Girlfriend, Even If She's As Extra As The Guac

You may not be able to make her happy, but Chipotle can.

Has your girlfriend ever craved Chipotle?

Has she begged you to take her or go with her and you just didn't have the time? Do you want to know how to make it up to her?

Here are 8 Chipotle meals that you could bring her to make up for anything you've ever done wrong!

1. Burrito

A Flour tortilla wrapped around your choice of meat, rice, beans, veggies, salsa, sour cream and or cheese. Also, don't forget the guac.

2. Burrito bowl

Your choice of meat, rice, beans, veggies, salsa, sour cream and or cheese. Minus the tortilla because, ya know, calories.

3. Crispy corn tacos

Triple tacos with her fav meat, salsa, or sour cream. You can also add guac if you're feelin' extra. Great meal for when she needs a lil' crunch in her life.

4. Soft flour tacos

Triple soft tortillas cradling her choices of meat and condiments. Best meal for when she doesn't want to deal with cleaning up the aftermath of a crunchy taco.

5. Salad

A soft bed of Romain lettuce with her favorite meat or sofritas. Topped with beans, salsa, sour cream, and cheese. Good choice for when she wants to eat healthily but needs her Chipotle fix.

6. Chips and queso

For when you want to show her just how cheesy you really are.

7. Chips and guac

For when you want to show her just how much you care about her because she knows guac costs extra.

8. Chips and salsa

For when she's feelin'spicy!

Cover Image Credit: YouTube//penguin1o4

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