Why “Relationship Jumping” Isn’t Healthy

Why “Relationship Jumping” Isn’t Healthy

Immediately jumping from relationship to relationship causes you to skip over some important lessons.
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I had a friend in high school who jumped from relationship to relationship, meaning that as soon as one relationship ended, she couldn’t wait to start another one with someone else. Although immediately beginning a new relationship with a new guy may have helped ease, and possibly diminish, her pain from her previous relationship(s), over time I realized how more and more insecure she became. I think this is because she never really took the time after her breakups to process what happened. 

Every relationship and every breakup is different, so it’s hard to speak on behalf of everyone. But after my first breakup from a serious boyfriend, I dealt with it in three stages: processing the relationship/breakup, loving myself single, and assessing the ended relationship in order to start a new one. 

First, I emotionally came to grips with the breakup. There were days where I sat in my bedroom smearing my white pillowcase with mascara as I cried for hours. But those days were also the days I became closer and closer to figuring out why the relationship wasn’t healthy, why it ended the way it did, and what I wanted to do from there. There were also days when I would spend hours at the gym, trying every exercise and workout routine I could to release the anger I had for him and our breakup. And again, those days were also the days I became less and less angry, sad, and confused about everything, because I was actually dealing with my emotions. Based on my personal experience, it dawned on me that by immediately jumping into another relationship, my friend never dealt with the emotions caused by her previous relationship and breakup. 

After I emotionally dealt with the breakup, I began to feel confident about myself without a boyfriend. I’m only a teenager; I have the rest of my life to be with someone ... so why not enjoy the time I have single? I found that loving my single status instilled closer and stronger friendships with my girl and guy friends, because I had a lot more time to spend with them. As I spent more and more time with them, I realized how important strong friendships are. Strong friendships not only create laughter and everlasting memories, they also create stability and a sense of security in life. It was so easy to feel comfortable with myself without a boyfriend because I had such great friends who I knew had my back. I feel that this post-breakup stage is crucial, because if you can’t find stability within yourself, how do you expect to find stability in a relationship shared with someone else?

After feeling confident with myself and taking time for myself and my friends, I finally felt ready to think about a future relationship. The more time I took off from a relationship, the more time I had to understand what qualities I wanted out of someone and what kind of relationship I wanted. I believe that understanding these things is what creates better, healthier relationships in the future. A friend of mine said after her breakup, “He was my biggest mistake but my biggest lesson.” The only reason she learned anything was because she took the time to discover the mistakes that were made. 

If you don’t take any time to deal with and process your past relationships and breakups, how can you create better relationships? Think about it. 

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To The Boy Who Made Me Love Again

Thank you for loving me and showing me how to love myself.

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To the boy who made me love again:

From the very beginning of our relationship, you showed me you were different. You showed me how I should be treated.

After dating someone for three years, falling in love was the last thing I wanted to do again. I did not want to grow close to anyone and fall in love with every little aspect of someone, but with you, it was so much different. You were different from other guys I had talked to. You have done small things for me that make me so happy. From offering to order me pizzas while I'm working to ordering me a key chain that says "drive safe," it's the little things you've done to make me love you.

During my previous relationship, I had come to a custom of pulling out my card to pay for dates and thought it was okay to accept the fact that good morning text did not exist. Every morning since we started dating, you never forget to text me good morning. We almost fight over who is going to pay, because I can't expect you to pay for every date. You have shown me what to expect in a relationship.

You never fail to make me happy. Whenever I say I'm hungry, you get me Mexican. When I want to watch Netflix, you immediately put on The Office. I can mention one thing I want and you buy it because you know it will make me happy. You give me forehead kisses and it puts a smile on my face. Whenever I am upset, you won't get off the phone until you figure out what is wrong and make sure everything is okay.

You make me feel beautiful. I can come over in leggings and socks and Birkenstocks or I can come over in a nice shirt and booties, but either way, you tell me I'm beautiful. Whenever I just wake up and look a hot mess, you look me in my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful.

You always tell me to be careful whenever I'm driving and you make sure to tell me you love me every night before you go to bed. You remind me of things I know I'll forget and you literally read my mind. You motivate me with my schooling and tell me how proud you are of me when I make a good grade.

I never wanted to date again and I especially did not want to fall in love; however, you are everything I dreamed of wanting. I am so blessed to have met you and fallen in love with you. So to the boy who made me want to love again, I love you and thank you for everything.

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start

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Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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