I know it might seem a little cliché of me to write an entire article about pizza, but pizza is so underrated. Pizza is single handedly one of the best creations in the entire world, yet many people neglect to express their gratitude for it.
Social Media is filled weekly with “WCW" (Woman Crush Wednesday) and “MCM" (Man Crush Monday) shoutouts to their significant others, and I personally don't think it's very fair that I have never seen anyone make a shout out to the pizza they just ate the night before. Or to that beautiful cheesy slice they are going to order after reading this article. On that note, here are some of the reasons why pizza will always be better than a boyfriend.
1. Everyone likes pizza. But no one likes your boyfriend. There isn't a single person on this planet that does not appreciate pizza. Your parents hate your ex-boyfriend, current boyfriend, and probably your future boyfriend. They can't say the same about pizza.
2. You can call for a pizza at 2am. Pizza will 100%, without a doubt always be there for you in the late hours of the night. You cannot guarantee or count on that same support from a boyfriend.
3. Pizza is “Hot N Ready" at any time. Depending on your choice in men, this might not be the case. Take it as you will but a pizza's performance will never let you down. Even a bad pizza is still pretty good and I cant promise you that a boyfriend acts in this same manner.
4. Pizza is cheesy. Cheesy guys freak me out. I'm talking about the cheesy pickup line type or cheesy romantic type of men. If you thought of a literal guy that had cheese all over him that's even scarier and an even better reason to avoid boyfriends all together and appreciate that sweet, sweet slice of marina covered dough instead.
5. Pizza will never lie or cheat on you. People cheat all the time! People lie all the time! It doesn't justify it or make it right, but pizza doesn't even have the capability, so you can trust it without any hesitation.
6. Pizza doesn't judge. It doesn't care that you might have gained a few pounds, drink a little too much sometimes, or wear Birkenstocks. Pizza loves you for you. It doesn't discriminate. A boyfriend might not comment on your actions, your appearance or your choice of apparel, but he is definitely judging in his head.
7. Pizza has never yelled at you. No one likes fights or arguments, but one is guaranteed to have a few episodes of that with a boyfriend. Pizza on the other hand won't fight back when you yell at it. You'll always win.
8. You don't have to text pizza back. A boyfriend is going to grow angry, annoyed, and possibly confused if you just happen to forget about him for a week and not respond to any of his messages because you're busy playing life. Pizza doesn't care if you don't talk to it for a week, a month, a year even. It'll still be there when you're ready!
I hope that you've come to the realization that either being single for the moment is actually a blessing in disguise or you're on your way to pick up the pizza that you just ordered. Whichever it may be, learn to be your own hype quad! A box of pizza would surely love to join you. You don't need a boyfriend to be happy. You need a pizza. And everyone needs to stop aggressively hating pineapple toppings on pizza.
