Perhaps that was a misleading title. I love Pinterest just as much as the next girl. I go on it at least five times a day. But I cannot in good conscious justify my obsession with a website designed to give me a false sense of security. Allow me to explain. I will venture to say many of us have a Pinterest board entitled "My Dream Closet" or some variation of the like. I'm an optimistic person and everything, but I am realistic enough to know I will not own Givenchy accouterment for the foreseeable future unless I figure out how the heck the Kardashians do it. Furthermore, whose hair blows that perfectly in the brisk fall wind? Riddle me this, America, because mine looks a lot like this:
Don't even get me started on the wedding boards! Allow me to paint a picture of the current situation of my wedding board at this very moment. I'm thinking some sort of color variation that incorporates navy blue, dusty rose, beige and twinkling light bulbs hanging from an old tree in the middle of a field with decore that is rustic yet classic as I descend down the candle-lined aisle in a long sleeved, lace, boho chic fit and flare with an open back and a bouquet of peonies and babies' breath with a string quartet playing a variation of "Canon in D" with Sheryl Crow as a celebrity guest. Obviously, my ring will be at least four karats because I'm going to marry a very wealthy man with a man bun and a perfectly maintained five o'clock shadow who loves cats and his mom. You want an invite, no? Me too. At this rate, I will be sending out Save the Dates along with a donation request to foot the evening's bill.
While Pinterest is certainly good for finding life hacks from everyday household items, it is also home to a host of pointless facets of consumerism. For the sake of this column, I ventured to Pinterest's 'Popular' section, and here are some of the things I found:
--How to make a tote bag out of old jeans (because denim is SO in)
--DIY yard mushrooms made out of plastic plates
--Several bunnies wearing hats
--Three (inexplicable) steps to creating the perfect updo
And, everyone's favorite...
--How to uniquely express yourself with mermaid socks! (Finally!)
I am admitting to being interested in all of these things (except for maybe the denim tote, because need I remind you all of the Britney and Justin denim fiasco that broke the internet?). There is a reason this stuff is popular. It is accessible for everything, and who doesn't love bunnies wearing hats? But even without my "research" for this article, I would likely have spent the same amount of time looking at makeup looks that I'll never be able to achieve.
That brings me to my next point: makeup. If there ever were a platform that creates unrealistic expectations for the Smokey Eye, it's Pinterest. No matter how much I try, I will always look like a tired raccoon who doesn't understand the concept of eye primer. I just want to feel like Carrie Underwood from the Almay commercial, but it will never happen and I'm really bitter about it. Thanks a lot, Pinterest.
Alas, I'll digress for the sake of my sanity. When it's all said and done, I will never not visit the website because it is truly the answer to everything. Need a dip recipe? Go to Pinterest. Inspirational quote? Facial contouring diagrams? Winter outfits and Halloween costumes? Its inescapable perfection is a blessing and curse. I'll never be able to do that "super easy nail design," but I will find out where that candid model got that sweater if it's the last thing I do.
