We live in an age where a large amount of our communication is shared through our electronic devices. Facetime, phone calls, Snapchat, and texts are only a few of the gadgets used for digital communication. Interacting with one another, even digitally, isn't the only form of getting a message across, however.
Ghosting is when a person completely cuts themselves off from another individual they have been talking with, through any and all forms of communication, usually without an explanation. It seems as though more and more people choose to use ghosting as their technique for ending a relationship, as opposed to verbally explaining why they would prefer not to date anymore. Annoyance towards their partner, fear of hurting the other person involved, and general lack of interest in the individual are a few of the reasons given when I asked my peers why they chose to ghost a former partner.
"He kept bugging me for the first week, but eventually, he gave up." - Female, 17.
In all but one of the relationships I discussed with my peers, the individuals who were ghosted were not officially labeled boyfriend or girlfriend. The majority of their ghosting experiences happened with individuals they had been talking to with a time frame ranging from two weeks to three months. In any relationship, as romantic partners spend more time together they become more attached and ultimately gain more respect for one another. So it makes sense that when it comes to breaking up, individuals in a committed relationship are more likely to end the relationship with their partner's verbally. Regardless of how serious these relationships were, however, the individuals being ghosted were not pleased.
"It [the explanation as to why he chose to end the relationship] was something that I was going to text her... but I kept putting it off and it kind of grew into something a lot worse than it should have been." - Male, 19
Being ghosted is confusing, frustrating, hurtful, and a total blow to the self-esteem of the individual being ignored. An explanation as to why the relationship ended in the first place is totally reasonable for the ghosted partner to want. But does it ever happen? The answer: no, not really. Based on the responses from my peers, once they have ghosted someone, there is no going back.
SEE ALSO: Ghosting Is Emotional Abuse And Our Generation Needs To Stop Doing It
Every now and then, someone will text the individual they have ghosted a couple weeks later explaining themselves, and if you're lucky, an apology will be included. But for the most part, people are either completely done with the individual they have chosen to cut off, or they feel too guilty or awkward to explain themselves long after the ghosting occurred. If the case for not explaining their actions is guilt, then why ghost someone in the first place? Well, that question is a little trickier to answer.
"I didn't want to hurt her by being like 'Yeah so... I met someone else and I don't want to talk to you anymore' " - Female, 21
Ghosting has become a normal and almost expected form of "breaking up" with someone you are not officially in a relationship with. People are more comfortable with cutting someone off digitally because they can hide behind an invisible wall formed through the electronic world; shielding them from any unwanted emotions which can arise from the ending of a relationship. Some individuals believe that by ghosting the person he or she is talking to, they do not have to hurt or embarrass them by bluntly saying, "I don't want to talk anymore." Yes, those words and phrases similar to it will undeniably hurt the individual being broken up with, but who are we kidding? Ignoring them with no explanation is even worse if you think about it. People need closure, no matter the duration of a relationship. Ghosting someone leaves him or her wondering what they did wrong.
To all the ghosters out there, I get it. You are most likely trying to spare the feelings of the individual being ghosted. But just an F.Y.I, you aren't. At least show him or her the bare minimum when it comes to respect and verbally end the relationship.
