Going to college, regardless of where, is a scary time of growing up. We leave the nest for the first time and whether we visit home once a week or once a year, going to college is a big deal. We trade our comfy beds and room to ourself, for a cramped space with sometimes a complete stranger. When college application season rolled around last year I did something no one was expecting...I only applied to out of state schools.
Living in North Carolina for almost 10 years I learned a lot. I learned that Bojangle's can become a hasty addiction, that North Carolinians love their country music (especially Scotty McCreery) and that it wasn't the place I wanted to spend my life. That's not to say I hate the state because I don't. I believe that some people can live there and absolutely love it. It's not a terrible place, there are definitely worse places in the world but I never felt at home there. I always felt like a bit of an outsider.
I also did not know who I was. I remember feeling taken back when I was at a job interview. The woman conducting the interview asked me to describe myself. I was stuck, I sat speechless. I didn't know who I was. I could only identify myself through other people. Daughter of Donna and Quint, high school senior at CHS, Lucky's professional dog walker. I couldn't tell you what I liked or disliked, my interests, or feelings.
When I first told my parents I only wanted to apply to out of state school they looked at me like I had five heads. They had concerns (like any parent would) and were worried about the costs of going to an out of state university. They were even more shocked to learn I researched the schools I was applying to and I only applied to schools that were within my budget. If you really look for it, you can find some universities that charge the same out of state and in state rate. I spent hours on my laptop in my room virtually touring schools and calculating expenses. I really had my heart set on leaving.
So I started the self discovery quest. I decided to go outside of my comfort zone and I am so glad I did. Going outside of my comfort zone was crucial in growing up and gaining my independence. I had to learn how to cook, schedule my own doctor appointments and budget my own money. If I had stayed in North Carolina I still would have been dependent on my parents and wouldn't have grown as much as I have. It was so worth it to move out on my own.
It was not easy. The minute my family left after moving me into my dorm I was frightened. Here I was, in a state I had only been to a few times, no family for over 1000 miles and I had no friends. I missed my old friends, my dog, my family. But I kept my head held high and tried to remember why I was here...to make something of myself and to discover who I am. Homesickness is a real thing but I distracted myself with school to help combat it. Moving out on my own was extremely hard, it was no walk in the park but I will never regret my decision.
It was so refreshing and exhilarating to have a fresh start. No one here knew my past, I didn't have to feel like people were my friends because they pitied me or worry about someone making fun of me because of my past. I was new. The slate was clean and I was ready to move on, make friends and a future.
Moving out on your own will never be easy. There will be days when you question your decision and want to go home. It's easier to go home but don't do it. Give yourself time. Go to those lame floor events your residence hall hosts, go to parties (safely), talk to the cute guy who lives next door and don't be afraid to try new things.
College is what you make it. I came in here looking for myself, unsure of everything. I'm leaving my freshman year knowing who I am and what I want from life. Don't be afraid to venture off and go to an out of school university. It will not be easy but it will always be worth it.
