Growing up, we’re all told things we should and shouldn’t do.
I'm not sure how you've felt in regards to rules in your life, but I always, for whatever reason, tended to focus more on the things I couldn’t do rather than the things I could do. I wasn’t really sure why this was the case, but then I considered the moment that sin entered the world. Adam and Eve were given all of these things they could do, and yet they focused on the one thing they were told not to do.
In Romans 5:20, Paul writes, “The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more…”
The Law that God gave His people, in fact, increased sin. When I read this, it makes my brain hurt. It sounds backwards that God would give us laws that would increase the one thing God can't stand to be around, which is sin. Yet when I consider the pain He endured on the cross, I realized that through giving us the Law and God giving Adam and Eve commands, it opened the door and started down the path to the Cross. Through the path to the Cross, we're made aware of the goodness of God. His greatness is shown in our weakness, and that's such a blessing.
But the reality is there's sill sin in our lives. As we grow more in Christ, we're told as Christians we will “bear fruit.” The fruit which we bear are the fruits of the spirit. Those are listed in Galatians 5:22-23. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”
As we grow in Christ, the process of becoming greater at these things will simply not be as fast as we would like. Even Paul in Romans 7 acknowledges he does things he doesn’t want to do, and doesn’t do what he wants to. There is a battle between the flesh and the spirit.
What's so amazing about the idea of a “conflict” between the flesh and spirit is that Paul mentions this idea in verse 16 through 18 in chapter 5 of Galatians, right before the fruits of the spirit are listed.
So often as Christians we wrestle with doing things correctly. It’s a battle, and for a long time I lost this battle, and to a certain extent, I still do. However, I began to see a clearer path toward obedience to God and a verse that connects with this idea. What I learned is I was done focusing on solely being obedient to God. I thought if I really worked and strived after to follow God’s laws, my love for Him would begin to grow.
But that is so ridiculously backwards.
What I've come to realize is that when I began to simply focus on God and be caught up in Him, I saw there were things in my life that distracted me from that love. So I began to stop doing things, not because “I was told not to,” but it was due to seeing, “Oh wait, this distracts me from God and because I'm caught up in His love, I don’t want these things distracting me from Him.”
What it comes down to is that loving God simply leads towards more obedience, and while yes, I know you may be thinking, “Yeah, that’s what the Bible teaches, of course that’s true”, but unfortunately I don't think as, Christians in America, we have taught this idea the best way.
In youth groups especially, I've seen people push obedience and a bunch of do’s and don’ts, rather than pushing the Love of God. If someone doesn’t or isn’t building a relationship with someone through love, their obedience toward them will not last. Think about your experiences. Family, friends, relationships, marriage, etc. Love is what lasts! Paul says it in his letters over and over again!
Oh, and love just happens to be the first Fruit of the Spirit.
So what’s my point?
My point is that if you have been struggling with the idea of obedience toward God, and you're frustrated by the lack of growth you've seen in this area, stop solely focusing on being obedient, and start focusing simply on the love of God. Instead of feeling like you're being robbed of satisfaction, by stopping a certain activity that used to bring you “happiness” in the moment, you'll see that stopping that action will help you not to become distracted from the love and joy which is only found in Christ.
When you tell someone not to do something, help them understand why. If kids, especially in youth groups, are solely not doing something because you told them not to, that’s a bad foundation. It's not going to last. Yes, it may be a start, but help them understand why. Help them to understand why we aren’t supposed to take part in certain things in life, and how it distracts us from an amazing love found in Christ.
There's a reason the first and greatest commandment is, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” As we focus on His Love, obedience to other commands from God will simply begin to take place as the Spirit works in our hearts!
