Two years ago, I decided to take the journey to become a nurse.
I've always had a passion for helping people, and I loved how nurses became a part of their patients’ families and helped them through some of the most difficult times of their lives. Nursing seemed like a good fit for me, and I can say that was very excited for the next chapter in my life. I liked the fact that I had my future planned out. I knew that I wanted to be a pediatric registered nurse with a focus in oncology. After working a few years, I would become a pediatric nurse practitioner so I could spend more time at home with my family that I hoped I would have. But, life happened.
I started nursing school, and it was definitely different from any other schooling. I was studying all the time, and I was fighting just to get a B because the grading scale is a lot harder. Although it was hard and time consuming, I didn’t change my mind because of that. It was after I started working at my local hospital as a CNA that I realized maybe I wasn’t in the right major. The nurses I work with are stressed all the time. They very rarely find time to take a break, and oftentimes, they're charting while eating their lunches. Sometimes, they end up staying until 10 at night instead of getting off at 7 p.m., just because they have to finish charting.
I couldn’t help but dread that happening to me. One day I would like to have children, and I don’t want to head to work when they’re just waking up and get back when they are already asleep. I found myself never wanting to go to class, but I kept telling myself that it was normal, because what student looks forward to going to class? It wasn’t until we were getting ready to check off on passing meds that apprehension finally caught up with me. The thought of giving one of my patients the wrong dose or medication terrified me. I had seen patients during work have bad reactions to something the nurses did, and I didn’t want to be that nurse.
As I was sitting in class one day, I realized that I just wasn’t interested. I was turned off to the idea of nursing as quickly as turning off a light. My friends around me were absorbing all of the information, and I just wanted to be at home. I realized I needed to make a change. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I could be a nurse, and I have the utmost respect for nurses. But for whatever reason, God wants me to do something else with my life, and I thank Him every day for showing me not to settle for old dreams, but to create new ones that lead to happiness.
