I have never been a shy person. Even as a child, I loved meeting strangers and new people. They felt like a new adventure with every different personality, and those who reacted to my seven-year-old self with energy and enthusiasm may as well have been the King of the Universe. As I've grown up, I've tried to utilize that deftness with new people to connect to my community. I love being involved in lots of organizations and contributing what I can where I can. But in the last year or so, I've recognized myself being more timid when it comes to participating in things I'm interested in.
New environments are scary places. Between the move to a new area of the country, the giant change from high school to college, being away from home, and taking some butt-kicking classes, it makes sense to me looking back as to why I was afraid. I knew no one and had no real "in" to any organization on Georgia's campus. I didn't know where to start to change that either. I was still my outgoing, confident self when I got to college, but the part of me that over-involved herself (and LOVED it) slowly faded. I joined a sorority, focused on passing chemistry and making new friends. The whole year passed in a blink and I grew in a LOT of ways, but I let go of something I felt was critical to who I am.
Since coming to this realization, I discovered a disconnect I felt from myself Senior year, leading several clubs and applying to colleges far away, to myself freshman year, taking it slow and not having clubs to call my own. A large part of that came from my fear of college. I was so taken back by immediately adjusting to Athens, I was constantly waiting to feel homesick or alone or like I wasn't in the right place. I became so focused on making sure these feelings kept themselves away (even though they're totally normal freshman emotions), I stopped myself from doing something that would have actively aided me in that goal.
In just one year, my brain became $30,000 more expensive. Even without that staggering figure, I know that my ideas are worth hearing. I have faith in myself as a creative, innovative thinker. So I must beg the question: Why not me? Why wouldn't my idea be the great one everyone loves? Why shouldn't I be the girl who people look at as a pillar of the community? Why can't I be involved in everything I hope to be? The reality? Time. But for now, I plan on ignoring that and just pursuing whatever my heart desires. There are so many great opportunities ahead of each of us, that we just need to be courageous enough to take advantage of.
