I’m not going to preach about why I think I’m one of the nice guys, but I have been the guy who gets friend-zoned, the guy who is told he is too nice, or the guy who gets strung along by a girl as a backup. So, I’ve seen first hand that nice guys finish last and I’ve come to find out it’s not entirely the girls fault; it's partly our fault as well.

I was prompted to write this article because I have seen girls writing articles about how they want the nice guy, the husband-material guy, the guy who will take them on romantic dates instead of Netflix hangout sessions. Well, girls, there are plenty of guys like that out there, and you may act like that’s what you want, but you are lying to yourself. No matter how much you claim to want the nice, stable guy you will always want the bad boy you think you can change. I’m not speaking about all girls, but I’m sure you understand what I’m referring to. Some people will say it’s an age thing, some will say it’s daddy issues, but regardless, it’s just the truth.

Guys, I’m not going to let you off the hook. Anytime I have ever asked a fellow guy for girl advice I hear similar things, “You have to act like you don’t care about her. You have to act like a jerk. They all want sex, one way or another, so just go for it.” Personally, that’s just not me. I was raised to be a gentleman and to be respectful to all girls -- not to treat them like numbers in some hook up game. I’ve had conversations with some of my friends saying, “Maybe we should just be jerks; it works for everyone else.” And we have tried these tactics; sometimes they work, believe it or not. I get strong reactions from girls by making fun of them, or blowing them off. It’s when I try and ask them on dates, or I'm sweet ,that I get the, “you’re just too nice” phrase. But when I act like a jerk, I feel like a jerk. I know that it isn’t me, so why be someone I’m not? But, more on that later.

Hey, ladies, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. Why do you like being mistreated? Why do complain about it, but do nothing about it? Why don’t you like it when guys actually act like they care about you? I don’t get it. Like I said earlier, it’s not all of you, but a strong majority. I’m going to tell you, right now: the nice guys don’t always come in the prettiest packages. The reason the hot guys are mostly jerks is because you have built them up to be. They know they look good so they act conceited, arrogant, and rude -- 'cause you let them. You will let some guys get away with saying or doing anything without consequence. Then, you complain about it, but then act like nothing happened.

Some girls will complain about how no one asks them on dates, anymore, how guys just ask them to come over and “watch Netflix.” You can complain about it, but you don’t say, “No, I would like to go on a real date.” Sure, maybe the guy will stop talking to you, but wouldn’t that help you see that he wasn’t the right guy? If you are looking to hook up, that’s cool, but if you want to date someone why not date the kind of guy you claim to be looking for?

So you say you want the nice guy? The guy who you consider husband material. The first piece of advice I would give you is to think about what you want that guy to act like, and don’t get caught up in someone who doesn’t give you what you want. Don’t just say, “I can change him.” No, most times you can’t. Guys don’t want to change, and we especially don’t want to feel pressured to change. Why even fool with it, then?

From my experience, I have come to find that girls love to keep the nice guys on a leash. Think about it; do you have a guy who you have agreed to marry if you are single, when you are 30? Do you have that one guy friend who has always liked you, and you consider too good a friend? Those are your nice guys. What would it take for you to give those guys a shot? What I think girls need to know about the friend zone is that we are usually nice about it; sometimes we actually want to be your friend, but most times we are thinking, “We have enough friends.” I believe that this stems from the idea that girls don’t want what they can have. It’s the jerk with the nice smile who doesn’t give them the time of day, versus the guy who is always around trying to impress them. The mystique of the jerk interests them, but they don’t want the other guy to stop being nice to them -- so they string him along.

To all the nice guys out there -- you are always going to finish last, especially in college. Does that mean you should become a jerk or give up? No! Just like the girls, figure out what you are looking for in a woman, and don’t compromise. If the girl doesn’t react the way you want, forget her; she isn’t worth your time and effort. There are girls out there who are mature enough to know what they want. Just be yourself, and don’t let girls take advantage of you. I know -- easier said than done, but why fret over the fact that girls don’t look for the good guy. Find the woman who does.