College — insert cliche "It’s known as a time of supreme independence, where you learn who you really are or figure out who you want to become" quote. For me, I came into college anticipating those very things. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had a strong sense of who I am and what I’m all about, but I knew I was about to face big changes that would further shape who I’d be for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, no one told me that I’d be faced with some of the hardest years of my life. Fun, but hard. My freshman and sophomore years, my self-confidence was low, and I was surrounded by tan, skinny and beautiful girls who I would constantly compare myself to. I never felt pretty enough or skinny enough. Even though I would compare myself to other people physically, I had never started to question my personality or compare my character to others until I reached college. Everyone around me seemed to be funnier, or nicer or more successful — or so I felt.
As I approached my junior year, this feeling lingered. However, I eventually go to the point where I was exhausted from constantly comparing myself to everyone around me. Spring of my junior year, and now currently the summer before my senior year, I've finally realized that it's OK to think you're cool and to be happy with who you are. How did I do this exactly? It's actually pretty simple.
I stopped thinking about how everyone around me looked and focused on how I wanted to look. I'd been wanting to lose some weight and get fit for a while so I woke up one day and made a goal for myself. Six months later, and I'm down 25 pounds. I think this was so successful because for the first time I listened to my own body's needs instead of trying to copy the dangerous diets people around me were doing. I know this sounds almost impossible, but you will never be happy with the way you look until you stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. There will always be someone else out there who's in better shape than you and that's OK. As long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters.
Make goals for yourself. This is one of the most important things I've learned on the incredible journey to stop comparing. Over the past year or so, I've witnessed so many Facebook posts from my peers obtaining internships and glorious career opportunities as I sat at my computer feeling pretty damn worthless as I binge watch another season of "Grey's Anatomy." One day, I realized that no matter how hard I wished, I would never be Meredith Grey/date McDreamy and I should probably do something with my life. Nothing is more empowering than creating a goal and then accomplishing that goal. I've always been a writer, I was just too scared my whole life to share my writing. Now look at me, I have articles being published weekly for an actual audience — like real people. (It still scares me a little, to be honest.)
Most importantly, never lose who are as a person because you're scared people around you won't like you. We all have our quirks, and those quirks are what make us who we are. Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay! There are approximately 7.4 billion people in this world and you can't please everyone.
This won't happen overnight, and there are still days when I scroll through my Instagram feed and feel subpar. However, I now take into consideration everything mentioned above and I can genuinely say I've never been happier with who I'm becoming. At the end of the day, you gotta love yourself first.
