If you log onto Twitter or Tumblr, chances are you’ll see some of your favorite celebrities doing something cute with the caption “Relationship goals.” Many of us idolize David and Victoria Beckham or Vanessa Hudgens and Austin Butler. Better yet, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.
I mean, these couples are great, but what is it that they have that we so desperately wish we could have? Stylists who make them look great 24/7? Or is it the paparazzi that photographs their every move, documenting moments of their life? Whatever it is, I’m not interested.
The ultimate relationship goal for me is much closer to home: my grandparents. My grandparents don’t have a super cute love story like Noah and Allie in “The Notebook.” But what they do have is a wonderful example of what true love is.
My grandparents met in Japan where my grandfather was stationed for the Navy. My grandmother went out to a nightclub, where she then met my grandpa. It was her first time talking to an American man, and she felt quite awkward about it. It was 1957 long after World War II, but still too soon for the Japanese to accept Americans. My grandmother was too afraid to dance with my grandpa, so she told him she couldn’t dance, lied about her age, and lied about her name. My grandfather refused to accept this and said he would “teach her to dance.”
After a romantic evening, they parted ways. My grandpa asked to see her again and said he wanted to take her on another date. My grandma said, no and my grandpa didn’t accept it for an answer. The next evening, he took her to the military base where he bought her all the designer makeup and bags she wanted. Since it was on the base, it was cheap for my grandpa. My grandma loved being spoiled by him. Finally, she told him her real name and explained that she was afraid of an American man. My grandpa promised no harm and that he was genuinely interested in her.
When word got back to my grandmother’s family that she was seeing an American man, they were furious. They told her he was not allowed in their town and she must stop seeing him immediately. My grandma refused; she knew she would have to choose between her family and my grandfather. My grandfather won.
The two of them were married in 1958 and had their first child, my mother, in 1959. When my grandma was eight months pregnant, my grandpa found out he was to be stationed in Honolulu, Hawaii. My grandma was afraid of moving across the world to somewhere so foreign. My grandpa negotiated with the Navy and made a deal so that they'd move to Hawaii and stay there, not having to move around the world with a newborn. Soon after, my mother and uncle were born in 1962.
After starting a family and moving across the world, my grandpa helped my grandma become a U.S. citizen. He helped her go to night classes for an entire year and prepare for the exam. After passing, it was my grandpa who taught my grandma to drive a car for the first time. She passed her driving exam, receiving her first driver’s license.
Now that my grandma had a little independence, she quickly learned how to speak English, making it easier for her to get around and do simple things. She joined a church where there were many Japanese women like her. She found her best friends in that church. The final piece to my grandma’s success was when my grandpa helped her start her own garment manufacturing business. Within the first year of starting her business, my grandma was making garments for four big name companies and had a team of workers under her belt.
Over the course of the next two years, my grandpa went on two tours, leaving my grandma and their two children behind. In 1971, my grandpa retired and was able to spend time with his family. After eight years of being retired, my grandpa decided to get a Bachelor’s degree in business at the University of Hawaii. Shortly after, he opened up his own limousine rental company.
By 1997, I was 4-years-old living in Seattle with my mom and dad. My grandparents would come and visit us once a month, staying for a week at a time. By this point, the two of them were happily retired and enjoying life together. The only problem was they missed seeing us. They decided to pack up and move to Seattle themselves, where they are to this day, our next door neighbors.
Like I said before, my grandparents don’t have a picture-perfect love story. I guess the reason why I want a relationship like theirs is because it’s such an organic relationship.
Our generation seems to be divorcing as if it’s nothing. When I asked my grandpa if he and my grandma ever went through a time that they thought about separating, he said the idea seemed ridiculous. Even after 55 years of marriage, my grandpa will randomly buy my grandma a bouquet of flowers, and he still has a list of places around the world he wants to take my grandma. Every year they go on an elaborate vacation, just the two of them. They still go out to dinner and come home and watch movies together. Simple, yet fun.
So the next time you see your favorite celeb couple grace the red carpet, think about how long they’ll actually be together. Take a look at couples who are closer to you. Maybe they have something that you want as well.
