I just recently moved out. Not because I hate my parents, or because I moved away from home. I moved because I felt like it was what I needed. I realized almost a year ago that I was twenty years old, and had only ever really known Fresno. I’ve traveled and had fun, but Fresno is the only place I have lived.

The only home I had ever really known was my parents. Not to say that they are not still my home. What I am trying to say is that I needed to feel home somewhere else. I needed to feel comfortable living without them. I couldn’t stay with them forever.

So why twenties? Twenties seem to be the most stressful time in adulthood. Think about it, most of us are close to finishing school, and are on our way to finding careers; but, with no guarantee of anything.

So why throw in another task? For me, my twenties is where I have been experiencing the most of everything. I have gotten new friends, taken on a job, and am close to finishing college. I am also young enough to not worry about taking on a career. I’m just starting my twenties and I want that experience of living on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can take care of myself. I can save money, pay rent, go to school, and still have a social life.

In the three months since I’ve moved out I’ve figured out what aspects of living with my parents mattered to me. For instance, I like a fairly clean house, but I don’t schedule to clean every two weeks like my mom does. I just do it as I go. I’m finding out knew things about me daily and I don’t think I could have done that at home.

The most important part of moving out is that it makes the living situation equal. By this I mean that I and my roommates contribute equally to the household. This shifts me into a different role.

My parents always called the shots. They had every right given the fact that they put a roof over my head for almost twenty one years. The point is that now I am in that position. I have probably been allowed to make more decisions just grocery shopping than I ever have before. I get to feel completely in charge of myself for the first time ever.

Moving out can be scary. When my parents closed my window (I moved in through my window. It’s a long story.) I felt a little scared. Since then I have carried on with my everyday life, and distance has been a good thing.

I am not constantly surrounded by parents, who can’t help but be parents. No one reminds me of the small things and that has made me totally responsible over the most stressful time in my life. I am learning to take charge, and that is something we all need in our twenties. We’re all trying to figure out what to do with our futures, and often times the right now gets dismissed.

I am finding that being aware of the now has helped me deepen my understanding of who I want to be in the future. Maybe moving out won’t do this for everyone. Maybe I am the only person that this has ever happened to, but I highly doubt it. I am learning more about myself everyday than I ever could have at home. I moved out for me, and that is who I am finding.