Why Men Won’t Commit – The Answer Will Surprise You

Why Men Won’t Commit – The Answer Will Surprise You

Why You Are With A Man That Won’t Commit
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He Left, Why?

Why You Are With A Man That Won’t Commit

Why men won’t commit, is that your question? This question is asked by more divorced women over 40 than any other inquiry they may have. The truth is, it’s complicated to understand the idea of men and commitment and there is not a simple solution to this problem. Here is what I have learned from interviewing males on this subject.

Guys who admit to commitment issues have put it this way: who would want to obligate themselves to a monthly mortgage, taking the trash out, cutting the grass every week and exotic vacations all to keep the little lady happy? It appears for a certain percentage of males the word commitment has a strong obligatory undercurrent.

Men Want A The Feeling Of Freedom

It almost feels to them like it would be mandatory to do things which would result in surrendering their own freedom. The “C” word for some men brings up the feeling, of “I don’t really want to do this, but now I’m stuck with an unpleasant situation.”

A guy hates to be expected to do anything that he does not resonate with on a gut level. Many guys think life is a lot more interesting when you get to do something, not when you have to do something! To many men commitment means having to do it rather than wanting to do it.


One of the common desires that males across the globe all share is their freedom. The masculine energy strives to experience independence. In his psyche, he wants release from the constraints of life. On the other hand, the female wants to nurture others and be nurtured with love, joy, energy and attention.

Some fellows say the feminine energy can feel suffocating with certain types of women manipulating them to do things that they really don’t want to do.

Fear of commitment in relationships is often a subconscious problem for males.

If a woman takes the time to understand the psychology around this issue she has the tools to create a different outcome.

Two Questions To Ask Yourself

So instead of asking why he will not commit, ask yourself these 2 questions:

1. How can I create more passion and attraction between him and me, so that he won’t want to be anywhere else?”

2. How can I put in place a supportive environment for him to feel safe, so he can trust me to be his source of freedom?

Ladies, the power you have is in the attraction you can manifest between him and you.

Become Emotionally Attractive To Him

He should feel that sovereignty through you and with you. There are several elements to this. The man need to feel and think that it is his choice and desire to commit to you . It’s about your guy feeling pulled to you by his own free will rather than an external force pushing him to do something that causes internal resistance in a man.

When you man wants you and only you. When he would rather be with you than past girlfriends, his mother, or his best manly bud then and only then do you know he is ready for commitment.

So now you know some of the truth around the question, “Why men won’t commit.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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Yes, I'm That Girl Who Is 'Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bride'— And I Embrace It

Or in my case... always the bridesmaid or always the photographer.

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Side bar: I am in no way, shape, or form dissing my boyfriend. We have had plenty of long talks about where our relationship with marriage stands.

To the girl who feels like she's the lead actress in "27 Dresses.."

The constant Facebook relationship changes, the texts with ring pictures, the save the dates and wedding invitations, bridal showers and bachelorette events; these all serve as constant reminders to me of the one thing in life that at the moment I don't have.

Don't get me wrong though, when my friends are getting married, I am incredibly happy for them. I know that they too have longed for this day in their lives to come and are overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude for what the Lord has given them. I am honored that they have chosen me to be a part of their special day in whatever capacity I am serving in, but there's always a little part of me that says, "Lord, when will I be next?"

It always amazes me how I can be so happy for my friends but sad for myself at the same time.

I continue to go back and forth with myself on the matter of marriage. You know "Ring before Spring" kind of thing? One day I can be totally bummed that an engagement hasn't fit into my story yet; when the next day I'm happy I don't have to deal with the pressure of planning a wedding.

As a 22-year old girl who graduates college in less than 6 months with a long-term boyfriend… it's there. The pressures of deciding to get married or not, but sometimes it's just not the right time.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future."

But this isn't about taking turns. Life and relationships aren't a game and God isn't skipping our turn when we feel like he is. It's easy to get caught up in emotions as you step into yet another bridesmaid dress or fake a smile for another one of your friends in love that you're really trying to be happy for.

I'd rather say, embrace the season you're in. I'd rather remind you that there's a reason God has you right where you are, that you're appreciated, and your current role is needed in big and mighty ways. I know it's tempting and normal to step into a lonely pity party but I dare you to own your loneliness instead of letting it own you. Don't throw your heart walls up in protection or your hands up in surrender. Both are isolating and discouraging places and you're better than that.

Your character, your strengths, your sparkle, wit and beauty is needed for something a lot bigger than Pinterest boards and wedding bells.

Whether you're in a serious relationship or not, it's important to maintain a healthy, happy outlook on your life. If one day becoming the bride is something that's important to you, be hopeful that it will happen. And when it does, all of those friends who were fortunate enough to count you as their bridesmaid will gladly return the favor. For now, invest in the other aspects of your life that you are happy with. Travel, read, cook, pick up and move across the country—you really can do anything you want.

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