Why Men Won’t Commit – The Answer Will Surprise You

Why Men Won’t Commit – The Answer Will Surprise You

Why You Are With A Man That Won’t Commit
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He Left, Why?

Why You Are With A Man That Won’t Commit

Why men won’t commit, is that your question? This question is asked by more divorced women over 40 than any other inquiry they may have. The truth is, it’s complicated to understand the idea of men and commitment and there is not a simple solution to this problem. Here is what I have learned from interviewing males on this subject.

Guys who admit to commitment issues have put it this way: who would want to obligate themselves to a monthly mortgage, taking the trash out, cutting the grass every week and exotic vacations all to keep the little lady happy? It appears for a certain percentage of males the word commitment has a strong obligatory undercurrent.

Men Want A The Feeling Of Freedom

It almost feels to them like it would be mandatory to do things which would result in surrendering their own freedom. The “C” word for some men brings up the feeling, of “I don’t really want to do this, but now I’m stuck with an unpleasant situation.”

A guy hates to be expected to do anything that he does not resonate with on a gut level. Many guys think life is a lot more interesting when you get to do something, not when you have to do something! To many men commitment means having to do it rather than wanting to do it.


One of the common desires that males across the globe all share is their freedom. The masculine energy strives to experience independence. In his psyche, he wants release from the constraints of life. On the other hand, the female wants to nurture others and be nurtured with love, joy, energy and attention.

Some fellows say the feminine energy can feel suffocating with certain types of women manipulating them to do things that they really don’t want to do.

Fear of commitment in relationships is often a subconscious problem for males.

If a woman takes the time to understand the psychology around this issue she has the tools to create a different outcome.

Two Questions To Ask Yourself

So instead of asking why he will not commit, ask yourself these 2 questions:

1. How can I create more passion and attraction between him and me, so that he won’t want to be anywhere else?”

2. How can I put in place a supportive environment for him to feel safe, so he can trust me to be his source of freedom?

Ladies, the power you have is in the attraction you can manifest between him and you.

Become Emotionally Attractive To Him

He should feel that sovereignty through you and with you. There are several elements to this. The man need to feel and think that it is his choice and desire to commit to you . It’s about your guy feeling pulled to you by his own free will rather than an external force pushing him to do something that causes internal resistance in a man.

When you man wants you and only you. When he would rather be with you than past girlfriends, his mother, or his best manly bud then and only then do you know he is ready for commitment.

So now you know some of the truth around the question, “Why men won’t commit.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To The Boy I Never Dated

Thanks for the memories.
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Dear Boy I Never Dated,

You know who you are. I just want to get a couple things off my chest.

First, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend, my ally, and at one point an important part of my life. Despite the fact that our relationship never went past the friend stage, I will never regret the time I spent with you or the memories we made. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so we were meant to be in each other's lives. Sure, I could go on and say that you missed out, how I'm an awesome person and all that stuff but that wouldn't do anything. We're both awesome people. Us never being a couple could never take away from that.

Honestly, I still consider us to be friends no matter where life takes us. I'm only one text or Snapchat away.

I do want to make one thing clear: I've moved on. I don't care what you've thought in the past or what you've been told, I'm seriously over it. I've been over it, despite what you think. I'm over everything; the pointless drama, the rumors, the over-thinking, and the self-doubt. I no longer care that you weren't interested in me in "that way." Honestly, this all went down so long ago that I don't even remember everything that happened.

I've met new people, had new experiences, and grew as a person. You've even noticed that I've changed. I'm the not the same girl that pined for you all those years ago. I care about you, obviously, but I know where we stand. Neither one of us needs to deal with the what-ifs or maybe-some-days. We both deserve loving committed relationships where the person you're with is 100% invested in you and vice versa. So maybe I am a text away, but that doesn't mean I'm available anymore.

If there's one thing about people that can get you down is that we're always disappointing. Either we're disappointing other people or disappointing ourselves. It is way too easy to break your own heart. I was guilty of that I think. I got too optimistic and thought we were on some path to greatest when in reality we were just two young kids that enjoyed spending time together. When things didn't go in my favor, I probably placed the blame on you because I was upset.

It took time for me to reflect and finally accept that I wasn't perfect, either. Now, I don't think anyone was at fault. Whether it was bad timing, lack of compatibility, or maybe lack of maturity neither one of one did anything wrong. At the time, it seemed so horrible that we never even tried but when I look back it's not a big deal.

To be completely honest, I'm now glad we never dated. There is no more resentment, bitterness, or pettiness. I don't think there was any to begin with, but I apologize if there was. Our lives may be going toward separate paths, but they're both paths of greatest. I'm completely, absolutely happy with where I am in life and all I can say is that I wish the same for you. When our paths do cross again someday, I'll be more than happy to see you.

With (platonic) love,

The Girl You Never Dated


Cover Image Credit: freestocks.org

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7 Ways To Keep God In Mind While Making Big Life Decisions

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

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Whether it be decisions about your career, your relationship, or your housing, making big decisions can be stressful. With looming deadlines, differing opinions, and the potential of affecting others, a particular decision can temporarily consume your life. It's time to find peace in your decision making.

1. Pray

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When we pray, God listens. While it may seem silly to "just" pray, it is one of the most fruitful things we can do while coming to an important decision.

2. Find scripture that applies closely to your situation

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The best advice we can get comes through reading God's word. Go to Google or a trusted Bible app, and search for things relevant to the decision you have to make. Try reading multiple versions or getting context for these verses to fully understand what God is saying and apply it to your life.

3. Talk to friends who will point you back to God

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Seeking advice and counsel from trusted friends is key in coming to a conclusion. Whether it be someone to bounce ideas off of or someone to see the problem another perspective, talking with Godly friends allows you to express your thoughts and ideas with someone who will support you while also reminding you to keep God in the forefront of your decision-making.

4. Remember how God has been faithful to you in the past

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One of the worst parts about making a decision is the fear that you are making the wrong one. To combat this, think back to previous decisions you have made and how those worked out and how God oversaw you through that difficult time.

5. Consider your spiritual gifts

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Depending on the particular decision you have to make, thinking about what your spiritual gifts are might be helpful. What traits has the Lord blessed you with, and how might those traits express themselves in the path that you are heading towards?

6. Determine if this decision will be a major point in your life in the grand scheme of things

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Being in the moment, the decision you are currently making seems like a big one. However, if you zoom out, does the decision you are making still hold weight? Will this one decision actually matter in 2 years? While it could, there is a high chance that it really won't and realizing that can dial down the stress a little bit.

7. Reevaluate your motivations

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So many times, when I think about why I am leaning towards a certain decision, I find that my motivations are worldly. Searching your heart to find the true reasons you are making a particular choice can be humbling and crucial to making the "correct" decision for you.

No one says that making decisions is easy, but no matter what you decide, remember one thing: God is still God no matter what you choose. He loves you and will always be with you.

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