As a society, we are bound to the idea of loving others as you would love yourself; one of the most basic and prophetic commandments that Jesus Christ placed among his disciples and followers.
Let's be real; it's hard to love someone.
It's hard to place yourself behind someone else. It's hard to forget their flaws and imperfections and look beyond what the eye can see. It's hard to love someone who does not love you.
I have struggled with the idea of continues love for someone who does not love you even if its someone near and dear to your heart.
Overtime, my heart became weak under the thought of rejection and complete hopelessness that someone who once loved me does not care for me any longer.
However, I did not turn to God and ask for patience. I did not turn to my parents for consultation and surely, I did not turn to my friends for retaliation. I simply became cold, bitter and angry.
Angry at the fact that though our blood line says we're family, my mind says we're strangers. The fact that my heart tells me to forgive, yet my mind tells me to forget. The fact that I must stand in front of them every get-together and splatter a smile on my brown, unpolished face and say "I love you."
The truth is, I do. The reality is, I don't.
Two completely different directions pull me side to side telling me to love and hate, forgive and forget, retaliate and confront. Both sides push and pull until I can bear no longer and decide to sit.
Deciding for myself that perhaps Jesus was not clear in His message. Perhaps, Jesus also could not forgive.
How could Jesus love those who tortured Him? How could Jesus love those who mocked Him? How could Jesus love those who didn't love him?
So, now I wonder and wait until Jesus can shed a piece of grace upon my hard heart and teach me, once more, how to love my neighbor, friend or relative as myself.
The point is simple; its okay to not feel love for someone. Its okay to get angry and frustrated. Its okay to stay silent when nothing needs to be said.
Sometimes, you just have to let the idea of love go and utter true love to form inside of you.
Like myself, let Christ show you the way of love.
