I'm going to throw out an opinion that may or may not be popular - depending on people's situations. Ready? Alright, here it is. Love sucks. I think everyone going through a breakup, or everyone who has gone through a breakup can agree that love sucks. As someone currently going through a breakup, I can tell you all about how much love sucks, and why you should not give people another chance, and all that jazz. Now, if I were in a relationship, I would be singing a different song and telling a different story, but for now, I am totally with everyone who agrees that love sucks. You know who else agrees that love sucks? Scientists. Studies show that love actually sucks, and for multiple reasons.
1. Being love-sick, or feeling as if you're in love, causes your body to experience surges in dopamine, also known as the brain's pleasure chemical. Dopamine is also present during an addiction, such as gambling, roller coaster riding, or even drug use. It can be present in short term relationships, one night stands, and even long term relationships. Dopamine surges cause you to feel super anxious and are the reason you are prone to wanting to check your phone every five seconds for a text from your lover.
2. Dopamine is also known as the "desire and reward" chemical. This means that the same chemical that makes you feel pleasure is also the one that makes you crave the thing, or in this case person, that gives you pleasure and is the same chemical that makes you cranky and irritable when that pleasure is taken away.
3. Being in love also causes surges of adrenaline and norepinephrine. Both adrenaline and norepinephrine cause you to experience mania, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, and fear, meaning that your nights spent lying awake, losing sleep from thinking about your lover, are absolutely related to your fear of losing your lover.
4. Being in love also means that your body is experiencing a whole lot of chemical surges at once. When your body experiences that mix of adrenaline, norepinephrine, and dopamine, it causes you to - cue the theme to "Psycho" - basically "go psycho." This same cocktail of chemicals also causes your brain to have the same effects as someone addicted to cocaine. That's right. Love gives you the same effects as being addicted to a drug.
5. When you stop taking a drug, you being to experience withdrawals. So, when you come out of a romantic relationship, and off of that high, you are experiencing the same things that someone coming off a crack high. Let me repeat: a breakup causes the same effects as someone suffering from a crack cocaine withdrawal.
6. Want to know why you can get bored of a relationship? It's because as your levels of adrenaline wear off as the relationship progresses, you become bored and crave that same initial kick that you got at the beginning of a relationship.
Love sucks. We know it, and even scientists know it. However, because of the natural chemicals in our body, we choose to chase love, and fall in love, time and time again. If you'd like to read more on why love sucks The Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, CNN, Health.com, and Biological Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher have some wonderful articles and studies about it. The ones I used for this article can be reached by clicking on the hyperlinks.
