A year and a half ago, I received the wonderful news that I was among the few students from my university who were selected to study abroad in Germany for the year. Initially, I was ecstatic. I had wanted to live in Germany ever since I was a little girl and this was my opportunity, but almost immediately I realized that this would mean I had to leave behind the boy that I was currently talking to. Our relationship had been a long time in the making and we weren’t even an official couple. In a few short months I would be on my way to live in a foreign country and he would stay here in America.
Desperate to save my “almost-relationship”, I began asking my family and friends for advice. I even went so far as to research long distance relationships online and read dozens of articles searching for a simple answer. Everywhere I searched, all of the answers seemed to point me in the same direction; End things with him and live my year abroad to the fullest.
I recall watching a YouTube segment from one of my favorite travel bloggers and having her practically reach into my soul and knock some sense into me.
“You can’t do a long distance relationship when you’re abroad. You would just be wasting your time. Dump that sucker and live it up abroad!”
If only somebody else could have made the decision for me. It was evident that my love interest was a little bit skeptical about, well, me in general. You see, we had gone to high school together and known each other for over four years, but I had gone away to college so I seemed a bit foreign to him. Completely understandable. I even felt slightly foreign to myself. Unfortunately, nothing had ever evolved between us until now, with a ticking time bomb until I moved to Germany.
Yet, in my typical fashion, I threw caution to the wind and decided to not listen to what everybody was telling me. I was going to see this “almost-relationship” through until the end and give it every effort that I could. Soon after going home for the summer, we made things official and had a wonderful four months of dating before I boarded that airplane and left.
Nine months later, I came home from Germany to a loving boyfriend and it was as though nothing had really changed. Despite the naysayers, our relationship had grown through the distance. When people say, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” they’re telling the truth. If I had listened to other people’s advice, I would have thrown away my relationship with the most wonderful guy in the world. Just imagine what I could have lost out on.
Sadly, not everybody has a relationship that can withstand the test of 6,000 miles. I am fortunate enough to have a relationship that is built on trust. We know what works for each other and yes, there are sometimes disagreements. The time difference is horrendous, but at the end of the day we know that the other will always be there. During my time abroad, I watched as many of my classmates ended their long distance relationships because they couldn’t handle the distance any more.
Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone. What works for some couples will not necessarily work for another. Like any relationship, you have to communicate with your significant other. That’s the most important thing. My advice to you is if you find yourself about to enter a long distance relationship, don’t let the thought daunt you.
People will say that you can’t make it work but don’t listen to them. The only person who truly knows the situation is you and your partner. It might not work but you will never know until you try.
Despite the struggles you will face, the end reward is worth it. There is nothing that beats surprising your loved one after almost four months apart and knowing that after thousands of miles, you’re finally home with the one you love.
