10 Reasons Why Life Is Better As A Cat

Your spirit animal may be a majestic dragon or some fearsome beast, but mine is most definitely a cat. I resonate with cats on a truly spiritual level, and I am fully convinced that life would be better if I had been a cat. Here's why:

1. You get to sleep all day every day.

If you want to sleep, then you sleep. If you don't want to sleep, then you play. If you don't want to sleep or play, then you eat. But mostly you get to sleep all day every day.

2. You get to sleep anywhere you want.

It's no secret that cats get the run of the house. Not only do you get to sleep all day every day if you're a cat, but you also get to sleep anywhere you want. You want to sleep on the back of the couch? Go for it. You want to sleep on your person's face? Go for it. You want to sleep on your person's computer? Go for it. You can sleep anywhere you want.

3. You get to eat as much as you want.

Cats get their food bowl filled whenever they can see the bottom of it or whenever they raise enough hell to get it refilled. If you're lucky your person gives you an automatic feeder, and you can eat and eat until the reservoir is empty.

4. You get to eat whatever you can get your paws on.

Oh, there are some leftovers on the counter? The cat has dibs. Oh, you made yourself a sandwich? Cat has dibs. If the cat can get to it, the cat can have it.

5. The fatter you are, the cuter you are.

In the human world, hearing, "Oh, you're so fat" is an insult, but in the cat world, being fat is ideal. Cuteness in cats, much like cuteness in babies, is actually measured by the amount of chub you possess. The bigger the better.

6. You can be an asshole, and no one gets mad.

If I were to go around knocking stuff off counters and tables at home, my mom would rip me a new one. But what do cat owners do when their fur babies break glasses and shove their keys under the couch? They take videos of it and post it online. If you're a cat, it doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are so long as you look cute while you do it.

7. Everything is a toy.

Cat toys are great, but everything is a toy in the cat world. Bottle caps? Toy. Hair ties? Toy. Shoelaces? Toy. Everything is a toy.

8. Literally everything.

In the cat world, the most fun things to play with are alive. If your person moves a hand or a foot, that means game on. If your person tosses her hair over her shoulder, that means game on. If the baby is crawling around on the floor, that means game on. Nothing is off limits.

9. Cats don't have to go to school.

All cat people wish that we could bring our cats to school, but most of all we envy them because they don't have to go. Cats don't have to read books or solve math problems or write 20-page essays on topics that they don't care about.

10. Or go to work.

Again, while all cat owners wish that they could bring their cats to work, more than that we just wish that we could stay home with our cats instead of going to work. Cats are great at walking all over the keyboard, but that doesn't qualify them to be filing reports and doing business.