It's currently 3:22 PM on a Friday afternoon. I'm sitting on the floor of my dorm room, folding my laundry, listening to a playlist of my favorite songs, and drinking hot chocolate I may or may not have microwaved after realizing I forgot to drink it earlier before class. This has been my typical routine for the past few weeks, and I couldn't imagine anything else.
As I people-watch through my window, I see the new friends I've made and I can't help but smile. Ten weeks of living in a new place has given me more opportunities, friendships, and confidence than 18 years at home. Home - although quirky, warm, and comfortable - it's the last place I'd like to be right now.
Green Day once stated in a song, "Home is where your heart is but what a shame, because everyone's heart doesn't beat the same," and I somewhat feel as if this rings true. Home, at least for now, feels like Friday night football games with my high school friends, the taco bell drive-thru, and sleepovers with my little brother. This is where I grew up, my friends grew up, hell, it's pretty close to where my parents grew up. Home is a small town, late night drives, hammocking in the woods, and daydreaming about the day I'll go somewhere new.
Those daydreams were college -- or the best decision of my life.
Here's a back story: I had decent friends growing up, a great family, and some sort of appreciation of the town I had grown up in. Sure, things weren't always perfect there, but at the end of the day I "knew" I had exactly what I needed. High school slowly crept up, and I soon realized I was not somewhere that I could be who I wanted to be. The concept of an individual was gone, and I was lost. I knew I couldn't fully embrace my own self because of the backlash I'd receive from my peers. I was terrified, unhappy, and annoyed by senior year.
Graduation rolled around. Things got better. College move-in day rolled around. Things got better.
Here I am, ten weeks later writing with a genuine smile on my face. Sure, I miss home, but if we're counting where the heart is, it is here in a stuffy dorm room, watching funny videos into the late hours of the night with friends from all over the world. It's adventures, internships, class-discussions, open minds, and most importantly: open hearts. You never realize how sad you really were until you escape it and find out how happy you can truly be. To my college friends, thank you for showing me love and support. You have taught me more about myself and the capabilities I have in a shorter amount of time than the classmates I had for 13 years. To my parents, I miss you, but know that you've helped me grow for my entire life, it's time to let the "real world" help me out now. I love you, even if I suck at phone calls.
Finally, to those who are making decisions about college or your future: the best thing you can do for yourself is follow your heart. Only you know what is best for you. There are so many people in the world and you will only find them if you branch out and put yourself in a new environment. Leaving home is hard, and leaving your friends and family is even harder... but the pain is so worth it. Finding yourself is worth it. Happiness is worth it.
