I am constantly told time and time again that I should never give up on my dream to become a writer and while I completely agree with that statement, I sometimes fail to take into consideration just how hard the committment of being a writer really is.
I have recently been having quite a hard time motivating myself to write my Odyssey articles just because I have been feeling uninspired with the content I have been attempting to come up with.
As writers, we are constantly tearing down our own work. Our words never flow right. Our characters are always flat. Our pieces never sound just like we had pictured them to when we first set out writing. We are never satisfied with our work which is both a gift and a curse.
We are perfectionists and we crave the flawless combination of words, themes, sentences, etc. It's exhausting.
We try to bring to life a piece of a world that is merely resting in our imaginations and sometimes we just can't get there. And when that happens, we panic.
That's where I have been at in my life recently. I have been surrounded by so many awe inspiring places and people and moments but have failed in my attempts to bring those feelings and words to life.
So, instead I choose to ignore it. And by ignoring it, I turn my back to writing.
This probably isn't the most effective way to handle my writer's block, I will admit, but it's how I cope with my lack of writing flow.
Which brings me to why it's so hard for me to become a writer: I do not have the drive to write every day that needs to be instilled in every person who aims to write for a living.
I find it so hard to push myself to keep going when I do not feel the urge or desire to put myself again and again through the failure of not saying something the right way.
Writing is one of the most difficult tasks one will ever face because the words will never sound just right. There will always be that sentence that isn't as good as the rest. One plot line will always fall short of another.
It just happens and sometimes that is just so hard to accept.
Writing - although one of my favorite things - can feel like the bane of my existence. If I am not having a good writing day, it causes me to question my abilities.
Everyone goes through this patch and it doesn't have to be in just writing. Whenever we are faced with failure, we immediately question our talents rather than believing in them and pushing through.
I need to stop questioning myself so much and instead, continue writing despite my perfectionist mind telling me to stop.
We are our own biggest critics.
No more excuses. I will not allow the little voice inside my head to stop me from doing what I have loved doing for so long.
Inspiration will come and go but I need to push through the moments of doubt in order to find the right words and story.