The word "ex" tends to spill bitterly out of people's mouths. We put a lot of pressure on breakups by taking sides. But whether or not you were the one who decided to end the relationship is irrelevant. Anybody that is now an "ex" was once an "us," and there is significant weight to that.

Sometimes the problem is that even the happiest memory is tainted with a new piece of information that demolishes everything you thought you knew about the person. Instead of joy, you're left with hatred and anger. But hatred takes up a lot of space in your head and your heart and you have to realize that whoever broke your heart is not who you fell in love with. Regardless of what the situation is now, don't ruin perfectly good memories just to fuel your own anger.

But also, don't hold on to a person who's not there anymore. If the guy that stayed up all night to talk to you is now the person that's too busy to answer a text, don't wait for him to come back around. Mourn the loss of a friend, but don't try to revive something that's already dead. More painful than letting go, is holding on. Empty hope is hard to watch, and it's even harder to experience. Because for as much as you cherish the memories you've had, and resent the moments you've lost, it shouldn't control you.

Accept that it's okay to still have feelings. Realize that it's only natural to need time, and surround yourself with people that can give you it. Learn to love your ex for teaching you patience and self-control. Love him for letting you prioritize his pets over him, random duets, and every other memory that makes you smile. Choose to love your ex for showing you who not to be, and for teaching you how to be a better person. It's okay if a part of you was shaped by your relationship with him, and don't feel the need to hide the impact he had on your growth.

But most of all, thank your ex for letting you go, so that someday, someone new will be able to be everything he couldn't for you.