Everyone feels vulnerable in life at some point, whether or not they acknowledge that this is the word to describe the exact feeling. Most of us know vulnerability as a blend of shame, fear and sensitivity. I recently watched Brené Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. I recommend watching the full video, as she has some very interesting points, but to summarize it, she explains that the key to life is connection, and those who feel the most connected are the ones who embrace vulnerability. She argues that ignoring vulnerability equates to disconnection and, ultimately, unhappiness.
My whole life I've always worn my heart on my sleeve and recognized the moments in which I felt vulnerable. However, this did not mean I accepted it any easier — I've always wished, to this day still, that I were not so sensitive and did not have to feel everything so deeply. I envied people who appeared to brush off every mishap and never seem to get hurt, people who had skin so thick that a bullet could bounce off. Many times I would grow mad at myself for allowing myself to be so easily offended; I felt like there was something wrong with me for feeling this way.
However, according to Brown, it is OK to feel vulnerable and, even more importantly, it is necessary to feel vulnerable. People who numb vulnerability numb everything, including gratitude and joy. The more we stifle vulnerability, the more bitter we grow as a society. After years of experience and collecting countless stories, she claims that people who are the most happy are those who allow themselves to truly be seen, thus creating genuine connections with others. If you do not allow yourself to be vulnerable with yourself and others, no one will genuinely know you.
Times when we feel most vulnerable are when we're in a room surrounded by groups of people but stand alone; when someone shares something unkind that they heard us, and we wonder who else feels this way. When we receive rejection from a person to whom we are attracted, and when we send out a risky text message and are afraid to look at my phone for the following three hours, just to list a few examples. Once we tell ourselves everyone endures these moments of discomfort, and it is completely natural to feel this way, it becomes easier to sort our feelings out.
At the end of the day, it is OK to feel vulnerable. Next time you feel hurt or just had an awful day, allow yourself to accept it. Vulnerability does not make us weak; it makes us human.
