Why It's OK To End Your Longterm Relationship
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Why It's OK To End Your Longterm Relationship

After dating someone for more than a year, feelings are attached but, is it time to let go?

2010
Why It's OK To End Your Longterm Relationship
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Recently I ended a 3-year relationship with my boyfriend who I legitimately saw myself marrying. It is no secret that women mature faster than men, which played a large part in why things had to end. I had a true epiphany why this decision was the right one after I had the alone time to self-reflect.

When you've been in a relationship with someone for so long, you become numb to the daily things that bother you about the person and instead you learn to live with them and pretend they don't exist. Once I was separated from my ex for about two weeks, I was confused as to why I felt so okay. Don't get me wrong it still bothered me to see pictures he posted on social media or others telling me what he's up to or who he's with. But for such a good relationship that I thought we had, I should've been way more broken up then I really was.

The first epiphany I had was realizing that my boyfriend was more of my friend than he was my boyfriend. From the three years that I was with my significant other, our relationship didn't progress towards the future. We would get along great in person and we cared for each other a lot but, when real life issues arose I found us on two different pages than one another. I found myself complaining about the same issues and clearly communicating those issues with him, yet changes weren't made. Not only did old issues collectively pile up, but newer ones arose and added to the pile. If you find yourself nagging your partner more than praising them, chances are you're not a good match at that time and you’re maybe better off as friends.

Through some more pondering why I was handling the break-up so well, I also concluded that there wasn't anything catastrophic that broke us up instead, we just grew apart. I believe that between the ages of 18 and 25 you will grow the most you ever will in your life. Whether you're deciding your future career, thinking of where you want to live once college is over, or making plans for a future family, the important thing is that you're thinking ahead.

Most often than not women tend to plan ahead more than men do. If you're in a long-term relationship you may not think anything is wrong (like I did) because you sincerely love the person you're with. I realized that just because I loved my boyfriend, that didn’t necessarily mean he was the right person for me and my future. I was tired of being made to feel any less than my full potential while I was with my significant other. Therefore, if you feel in the slightest that your partner is holding you back or dragging you down from your full potential then it might be time to call it off.

After about a month, I started doubting my decision. I felt like I could be letting a good love go but, I kept reminding myself why feelings will always get in the way of the right decision.

Truthfully, I can't tell you if you will find someone better than your current partner or not. But the point is, you need to take a chance on yourself.

There are about 318.9 million people in the United States alone, there's plenty of opportunity for love out there.

I confess I do not believe in soulmates, because if I did my ex would be it. But I do believe that timing is everything. And if your significant other isn't growing at the same rate as you, considering a future with you, or more of a friend than a lover, you need to decide for the betterment of yourself.

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