As a a freshman in college, I have heard countless complaints from friends regarding the opposite sex.
“He’s not texting back!”
“He’s sending me mixed signals”
“I want to text him but I don’t want to be clingy!”
Throughout these complaints from various friends in various stages of relationships, the common theme has been a fear of being needy or clingy. As girls, we oftentimes know what we want but are afraid to ask for it for fear of appearing demanding, needy or dependent. There is a stigma associated with double texting, asking the guy to hang out, telling someone that you want to spend more time with them, all associated with being “That girl”: ie that clingy girl who guys complain to their friends about, don’t respond to because they aren’t interested in, and she doesn’t get the message and keeps pursuing him anyway. However, I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with going after what you want. Especially in the early stages of the relationship, we as girls are afraid to be ourselves, oftentimes in fear of scaring off the object of our affection. But the worst thing we can do in a relationship is sit back and not ask for what we want. Not defining our expectations in a relationship gives a guy way more power than knowing we want and asking for it, no matter how needy, or demanding it makes us feel. Not sharing our expectations gives a guy permission to walk all over us, and you can’t expect a guy to read your mind. It is far better in a relationship to be ourselves, seemingly unnecessary expectations and all, and wait for the guy who is willing to step up and achieve these expectations, than to try and mask your feelings in attempt to please him. There is nothing wrong with being “That Girl.” Sharing what you want, having these expectations, is the only way you will get what you want and deserve in your relationship. Don’t sit back in your own life and wait for someone to know what you want without you having to say it, because nobody will. Expectations get results. Voicing these expectations gets results. Don’t be the girl who is afraid to be yourself, because if you can’t accept yourself, nobody else will. If you tell a boy what you want from him and you scare him off, shrug it off because he wasn’t the right guy for you anyway. And if he steps up to the plate, looks like you’ve found yourself a keeper.
