Coming in to my freshman year of college, I was assigned two random roommates, and I felt a lot of pressure to become best friends with these girls. We were nervous, and it was awkward because it is very rare that you become best friends with someone you just met. One of my roommates and I had some major clashes, and I was devastated by it. I felt that if I couldn’t be friends with the people I lived with, I couldn’t ever make any friends. The truth is that sometimes two people just aren’t meant to be friends. Sure, it would be nice to find the Blair to your Serena in your roommate, but that isn’t common. While I was spending time worrying about one girl that really didn’t want to be friends with me, I could have been making the best friends of my life.
Eventually, the girl that I was clashing with moved out, and I think that it worked out for the best for both of us. We may have had compatible living habits, but we did not have compatible personalities, and that is OK. In the end, I realized that it wasn’t anyone’s fault; we were just two people that couldn’t find any common ground besides the bedroom floor we shared. Having that much conflict with your roommate is difficult and it puts stress on all aspects of your life, so it is important to recognize when your living environment is toxic so that you can get out of it. This conflict taught me to stand up for myself, even when it is easier to give in, and to recognize that sometimes two people were just not meant to be friends.
My other roommate and I lived together for the rest of the year, and I consider her a good friend, but we are not best friends. I was so lucky to live with her. We lived really well together, and it was so nice to complain about our homework and order food together at 2 in the morning. Not every friend you meet can be your soul sister, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change your life for the better. She helped me to feel comfortable at school and taught me to relax and just watch Netflix sometimes.
Even if you aren’t best friends, you share a special bond with the people you live with and learn a lot about them. The first week home from school, I Snapchatted my roommate before bed because it felt weird to live in a room by myself all of a sudden. We didn’t braid each other’s hair or set each other up on dates, and we didn’t have the same group of friends. We did, however, share a mutual trust and respect that made it both fun and comfortable to live together. We didn’t hang out all the time or with the same people, so we didn’t get tired of each other. There was always someone to come home to and vent. We were very different people, but I learned so much from her and met lots of friends and had so many of experiences that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. In the end, roommates are just people you live with. Whether you hate each other, are best friends, or are somewhere in between (as most people are), there is a lot to be learned about the world and about yourself from sharing a room with a stranger.
