What do you think makes a friend? Is it someone you can talk to about anything and everything? Or someone who is there for you? Maybe it's someone who makes you laugh or makes you happy, but I wanted to know what a friend is defined to be according to a dictionary. So I googled it.
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
It was "a bond of mutual affection" that caught my attention. I understand that friendships are much deeper than that, but this helped me understand why being 'just friends' can be a difficult task. When the affection towards the other is unbalanced, things can get a little out of hand. Everyone has been on either side of the story or maybe even both like me.
First, is when your friend has more affection towards you than you have for them. To me, this was really awkward and I felt horrible that I did not feel the same. I was completely clueless on how to explain why. Even if they seemed to be a perfect match and treated me well, I just couldn't feel it. Believe me, I tried really hard, but being more than friends must not be part of Gods plan for me or for them. Some would make me feel bad, others would just stop talking to me, and even the ones that claimed they 'understand' would still be bitter about it in the future.
Second, and finally, is when you are the one feeling more affection. It truly does feel like a slap in the face or a kick to the gut when you get rejected. It is extremely difficult to sit there and try to talk and spend time with your friend when you feel so much more than they do. It makes me want to just cut them off completely. So I continually prayed about this subject, and my prayers were answered through my pastor when he said, "just because you disagree doesn't mean you should disconnect." A weight that had been on my shoulders for months was lifted.
As you may find yourself in these situations, keep in mind there is pain on both sides. Just because you may disagree on whether or not you should be more than friends that doesn't mean you should disconnect. Especially if they are there for you, make you laugh, make you happy, and talk to you, just like a friend should.
