In today’s time, being a strong and ‘independent woman’ has become such a cliché that people seem to just roll their eyes at. What most women do not realize is how important it really is to be just that. There is nothing more satisfying then knowing you can do any and everything by yourself, without the help or company of anyone. When you grow up a woman paying your own bills, changing your own oil in your car, fixing your own broken appliances, buying your own food, paying for your own movie ticket, you become nothing shy of appreciative when someone does come along that truly desires your soul and wants to take care of you; not because you need to be taken care of, but because they want to. In order to be truly happy in this world you have to be able to appreciate who you are as a woman, not who someone else says you are or wants you to be.

You have to be able to recognize, shape and build off of your own strengths and weaknesses. You have to come to the realization when you lie down at night that the only person, who you will never let you down, is you. The only person in control of your happiness is you. The only person, who holds the reigns to your life, is you. Other people in your life, a boyfriend, family, friends, girlfriends, etc. will enhance who you are, make you smile, be a companion in your life, but they will never help you discover who you are as a woman. You have to know whom you are and what you have to offer, confidently, before you can truly contribute to any relationship.

I have realized that I have never felt stronger than I do when I spend nights alone enjoying my own company and laughing at myself, going out to eat by myself, going to the movies by myself, going shopping by myself, going to football games by myself, etc. When I first started doing this, I felt awkward, I felt sorry for myself, and wondered what was wrong with me. Then, I came to realize who in this world is better to spend my time with, then me? Once, I started understanding that I can go and do things without someone with me all the time; I became one of the strongest people I know. I never have to prove the person I am to anyone, and what I have to offer, because I spent intimate time getting to know exactly who that woman is, and she is incredible.

We walk around and we see all these girls who constantly have to have a girlfriend with them, constantly have to be hanging all over their boyfriends, constantly have to be around a crowd of people feeding them attention. If you really think about that image; how strong, confident and well rounded do you think these people truly are? How differently do you view a woman when she is walking downtown with pure and utter confidence, walking with a purpose, with her head held high, and her smile never skipping a beat, with absolutely no one near her to validate her existence? That is powerful. That is the woman we all need to discover within ourselves, that is where pure confidence and positive self-efficacy lies.

I have never felt more fearless than I do now that I have realized how strong, courageous, beautiful, comfortable, determined, powerful and incredible I am by myself, with nobody’s help or affirmation. If I want to go out somewhere, I go, I do not text, beg and plead a multitude of other girls to tag along with me, I do not force my boyfriend to go places he does not care to go, just so I don’t have to go alone; I just go. I just go, by myself, I spend time with me and I enjoy every second of it. I admire the people around me, I admire people I have never seen before, places I have never been, I learn something new and admirable about myself every moment I spend with her. It is so hard to grasp this concept with full honesty in this fast paced and reliable world we live in today. But, girl, you have to. Find a way to be strong, and happy in your own skin, because you are all you are promised.

Although friends are nice, boyfriends are lovely, and girlfriends are exhilarating, I do not need any of them. I want my very few close friends, I want my loving boyfriend, I want my unbreakable bond with my family, but I do not need any of it. Do not get me wrong, people are wonderful, relationships are irreplaceable, and family is indescribable, but finding sole peace and comfort in just being you, and confidently taking on the world alone, is indefinable. All of us women can do this; we just have to make the decision to do it.

You have to make the decision that you do not need anybody, or anything. You want most of the things that your mind tricks you into thinking you desperately need. You have to wake up every single morning, look in the mirror and recognize the strong, unstoppable badass that is looking back at you. You do not need anyone, for anything. As soon as you start finding out who you are, spending time with you, tackling your troubles alone, and discovering who you truly are, everything else will fall into place. The best things come along when you are working on you, your own successes, your own dreams, your own troubles, and your own Friday nights. Wake up every morning knowing your worth, your strengths, and your abilities regardless of anyone else’s ability to see that. As soon as you make the commitment to do this, your entire life will change. Mine did.

As cliché as ‘strong independent woman’ may sound; it is truly the most vigorous, powerful, compelling and admirable trait you can have as a woman. And the feeling is something I can never put into words. Take matters into your own hands, because those are the only hands that feed you.

Tell yourself everyday, from this day forward:

“I know what I bring to the table, so trust me when I say, I am not afraid to eat alone.”