Do you know why it hurts so much when you break up with someone you loved?
Me neither.
But I can tell you why I loved in the first place.
He was kind, caring, and warmhearted. For the first time, I felt not only free to share my feelings, but encouraged to. When I needed a helping hand, he gave two, and his words breathed life into me.
He was smart, knowledgeable and clever. Every day, I was astounded by his intellect and humbled by the sheer power of his mind. I yearned to learn from him: facts about the world, how to be a better person. Our conversations were never boring, and I will treasure them forever.
He was funny and witty. He made me laugh like I had never laughed before, and I learned the meaning of true happiness. The world seemed smaller, felt kinder, and smelled sweeter.
He was loving, genuine and strong. I knew that his sincerity, while sometimes not what I wanted to hear, was always what I needed to hear. There was no malice in his words, no ulterior motive. He stuck by his beliefs but, more so, he stuck by me.
He was good-looking and attractive. I mean it. To me, he was priceless, peerless, without an equal.
And yet, this isn't why I loved him. These qualities, and the countless others I did not mention, make for a best friend, a trusted confidant, a companion in life.
It was love because when the sun shone, it shone on him, it shone for him.
It was love because when the wind blew, it blew me towards him.
It was love because when I fell asleep I yawned his name, when I dreamt I saw his face, and when I woke up I had been gifted a whole new day with him.
It was love because his laugh was the rustle of the leaves, his smile was the brilliance of a rainbow, his face the blue of the sky, his words the flow of the rivers, his smell the air, his body the earth and his heart -- his heart was my heart, and mine his.
...
Do you know why it hurts so much when you break up with the person you loved?
Do you know why I hurt so much?
The sun doesn't shine any more. The wind doesn't blow any more. I don't wake up, or fall asleep, or dream. The leaves are motionless, like stones, the rainbows colorless, the sky an empty, dark abyss. Food has no taste, cold no shiver, heat no burn. The rivers are frozen, the air is gone, the earth is dead, and my heart -- broken, and he has the pieces.
I guess I can tell you, after all.
And maybe, like everyone says, time will bring back the colors of the world. Maybe I'll be able to laugh again, to smile again, to feel the warmth of the sun.
But I can never love again. Not like I did with you. To do that, I need a heart, and you have mine. With you remain the splinters of my soul, the fragments of my love.
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us."
Você tem meu coração. Agora, e para sempre. E eu sempre vou esperar por você.
