Charlotte Brontë once said, in her novel "Jane Eyre": "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will." Literature has had a significant impact on my life, and I especially value narratives that contain strong female leads. I've always admired when women stand up to men, even if it is just in books, because it shows that a woman can be powerful. That she can be independent and free and live the life she wants to -- not the life others expect from her.

"I'm a Woman, But..." is a great example of how society pressures women to fit a certain image that is "socially acceptable." When I entered my freshman year of college, I immediately got into a relationship with someone I had met here at school. Being from the rural south, he was more "old fashioned." I grew up in the large city of Columbus and was used to newer ways of thinking about gender equality.As time went on, I realized he was suffering from severely low self-esteem. I constantly felt ashamed of pursuing an accounting degree because he told me, "I would make more money than him and hold it over his head." Whenever I got a really good grade or praise from a professor and wanted to share with him, it ended with him being extremely quiet. He couldn't be happy for me in anything I was pursuing academically and professionally. I tried to console him the best I could, but as poison causes toxicity in the body, so his low self-esteem soon infected mine. It festered like a wound that was trying to heal, but it kept being cut back into day after day.

When my panic attacks started, I knew I had to cut him loose before I let his negativity drive me towards an unhealthy place. There were multiple characteristics that made me realize that I couldn't be with him, which included:

Constant negative comments

The way he would become angry if I did something he didn't like.

How he easily became jealous when I chose my friends over him.

My independence and feminist ideals were questioned and criticized daily.

Ladies, this is a man not worth staying with. You deserve someone who is kind, loving, and constantly encouraging you to pursue any dream you have. The man you choose to be with should push you to be better academically, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I realized that I deserve better. I deserve someone who values my brains, not just my beauty. Money will come and go, but real love surpasses time and space.

I've seen too many women, young and old, not pursue an education and life outside of their marriages. In cases where the husband leaves or passes away, these women are left to depend on themselves to provide for their families. However, they cannot get a well-paying job because they have no high-level education. They end up depending on their own parents to provide support if they are even able to. Women: pursue education. Become an intellectual. Be able to support yourself just in case your husband no longer has that ability.

With the holidays here, I am asked the question by just about every other family member, "So, are you dating/seeing/in a relationship with anyone?" And each time I say, "No." But that's OK with me. I may graduate single, but I know what I want in a man.

I want a man who respects and loves me for my independent spirit.

I want a man who wants an equal partnership, not a submissive counterpart.

I want a man that is going to inspire me to pursue a life of learning.

I am a woman who is content with being single until that kind of man walks into my life.

"A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts." -- Nancy Rathburn