When I was younger, my biggest fear was those talking dolls -- you know, like Chucky. At night, when it was my little girl bedtime, I used to leave my door cracked just enough to see into the dark of the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom, and I always thought that maybe they lived in there, and only came out at night. As if their night job was to come out, and terrify just me.
It was always odd that I never thought that maybe these figments of my imagination came out of my closet, or lived under my bed -- the even scarier, more cliche places that monsters are supposed to call home. But nope, it was always the bathroom for me, so when the kids at school would talk about how they were afraid of the monsters in their closets, or under their beds, I would proudly say that I just wasn’t scared of that stuff.
That’s because my monsters did not live under my bed, or in my closet, and I wanted people to think that I was as fearless as ever because I wasn’t afraid of those monsters.
Today, I don’t think of those monsters. However, I sometimes think that I have to tackle some pretty big ones, and I still think that I have to be the one who is #unbothered.
If you have not heard of this term, then allow me to elaborate. According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of this is:
A complete lack of care or bother for anything in life.
When a person is unbothered, other people around them usually get very infuriated.
Why don't these unbothered people realize that this is not the attitude that won the war?
So basically, the things that should probably piss you off, purposely don't in an attempt for you to look like the careless and fearless, war hero. And I for one am kind of bothered about being #unbothered. I play the game, too. I used to think that it made me look like I had some sort of upper hand when I most certainly was not okay. I would say, “I’m fine,” and “it’s fine,” to big things because those things were “no big deal.”
I am a fairly reserved girl, and I tend to stay on that side of the fence when big, bad things come my way. But in those cases, I am not unbothered. I am the exact opposite of unbothered, and I'm ready to pop-off when given the chance -- in fact, I think that my blood pressure just shot up whilst typing that.
It is not okay to suppress your feelings. Collectively, I think that it has become some universal truth that it is not okay to fully feel out certain emotions and that we have to put on a mask in order to disregard our feelings. I think that we have followed this truth, and shamed ourselves for not being #unbothered. Our emotions should have an open invitation into the spaces in which we live.
I just don’t think we need to be unbothered anymore. We’ve all tried it, and in my experience, it doesn’t finish the job to tell ourselves to stop feeling something. Accept your feelings, and feel all the way. Get bothered.
