As I write this article, I’m sitting in my childhood bedroom. The walls around me are layered in pastel pink wallpaper covered in tiny pink bows. Plastered on the walls are posters of teeny bopper sensations that I had crushes on as a child. There are notes pinned around me from both middle school and high school, and a cork board chocked full of old movie tickets and playbills of elementary school plays. And here I am, a now junior in college, writing about why I don’t want to grow up.

This room I sit in has been my whole life. I’ve never moved from my tiny little town in the South Shore of Massachusetts, except for going off to college into a dorm room and then this past year into an apartment. But regardless, every time I was there, I called this house my home. This tiny town is my home. Everything I’ve ever known is here, so why would I want to leave it? My parents are here, my older sibling are here, my dog is here, my cats are here. Why would I want to leave what I’ve grown up with, every little piece of this house, this town, these people, have made me who I am today. Am I able to live life without the things that built me?

I’m scared of growing up because I don’t like change. I’ve never really had to deal with change, and so I’m scared to face it whenever it happens. Whenever I actually have to pack up my life and live on my own in the real world, will I be able to do it? Will I be able to care for myself in such a way that my parents still partially do now?

I’m a responsible person, and I’ve been living fine on my own at school. I’m still alive and healthy, so I’d say I’m doing fairly well. But every day, I think about how soon enough, I’ll be actually on my own. I know my parents will always be there for me, but I’ll have to rely more on myself, and that scares me. As the youngest child, I’ve always had someone older who had been in my shoes and could show me the ropes, and then there was always someone who could pick me back up when I fell down. But when real life hits, I have to pick myself back up again. I have to learn from my own mistakes and deal with it. There won’t be someone telling me that everything’s going to be okay, or that I will make it through safe and sound. Soon enough, that’ll all be up to me.

Soon enough, I'll be in the real world, with a real job, and no one to really tell me what to do or what to say or how to live my life in any way shape or form. And I'm scared.

Regardless of these fears, I know I'll never be alone. I have my parents to support me and will only be one phone call away. And I am thankful for the way I was raised in such a way that I know I am capable of the real world and being on my own. They have encouraged me in so many ways to be myself and to find myself and to chase my dreams, and because of this, I know growing up will be a breeze. They are my inspirations to succeed in the future. I want them to be proud of me for the person I become.

When I officially grow up, have a job, have a place to call my own, have a life, I will still have those around me who will make me feel safe. My family and my friends will always be there for me, and because of this, growing up may not be as scary as I think.

Especially because I know they can all still bring the child out in me, easily, so I know I won't be missing a part of me.