Last Saturday, I went out to Downtown Houston with my parents. We planned to just have a relaxing day at Discovery Green, maybe walk around and play Pokemon Go, just as 90 percent of other locals were doing there. And it was nice. It was. But the whole time we were there, I had this weird niggling in the back of my head. This strange feeling in my stomach, this tightness in my chest that made me vaguely yet worriedly wonder if I was getting sick. But then I realized that this feeling I was having was something that had been with me for a while lately, hovering and looming and ever-present. And it wasn't until I stopped walking around and I looked around me, taking in the crowds of people — adults, teenagers, children, families — that I realized what this feeling was.

Fear. Paranoia. I was, I am afraid of going outside.

To clarify, I am afraid of going out to public places like this — where crowds among crowds of people gather together.

But I didn't used to be like this. I didn't fear being out and about around others, but now...with mass shootings happening so often and so close together, suddenly possibilities are everywhere.

We are past the halfway point of the year, and in just 2016, we have experienced 271 mass shootings — including Orlando, the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.

What am I to think, how am I to act, knowing this information? How is anyone? Vigilant, they say. "We must be smart!" they say. Hm.

But what of the people? What of the generation of now and those to come? How long must we remain "vigilant" until we are mostly if not completely certain that we are out of harm's way?

We are never 100 percent safe. I understand that. We have always been careful. But the need for vigilance has unequivocally been heightened, beyond what it ever was and what it should be, after recent events.

I don't want younger generations to be plagued with incessant thoughts and worries of "what might" and "what could". Because, as of this year, they are no longer "what ifs", they are "when and where."

I don't want to feel paranoid when I go out. I don't want to feel afraid for my family and my friends and everyone else around me because someone, anyone could turn a relaxing outing into an absolute nightmare.

I don't want to see anymore names on a list of injured and casualties.

But realistically — unfortunately — I know it will take a while for a serious change to be made. I know that the niggling in my head will remain for a long while to come, regardless if a change is made soon.

I can only hope, for mine and other's sake, that a change does come. Preferably as soon as possible.