Growing up, I didn't have a lot of female friends because it always seemed like I didn't really fit in with any group. The idea of being in a sorority had never really been appealing to me, but after a huge break up, I realized how much I desperately wanted to have a group of girls who would be there for me during those break ups, whose closets I could share, who would always want to hang out, you know all those girly things you just don't get from guy friends. Suddenly the prospect of having all of these amazing women you get to call sisters sounded like the best thing ever, so I signed up for recruitment.
Recruitment was so much fun. I never felt uncomfortable or stressed. I was surrounded by gorgeous girls who were looking for a lot of the same things as me. The girls in the sororities looked so put together with their matching colors and bows and letters. I wanted to be like them, singing my song proudly and convincing other girls to join my amazing sisterhood. In three short days, I found what I thought would be home forever, because sisterhood, as they had explained enthusiastically, isn't just four years, it's for life.
Once recruitment was over, all of my time was taken up with chapter meetings and new member meetings and crafting and hanging out with potential bigs and retreats and parties. Between school, Greek life, and work, I barely had any time for myself. I know there are other girls who manage to balance so much more, but I became incredibly overwhelmed with it all, and the thought began to creep on me that maybe I had made the wrong decision.
On top of not having any time for myself, I didn't have any money either. Everything I earned at work went to dues, regalia, crafting, and all these things I constantly had to buy. I even had to borrow money from one of my sisters to pay all the necessary fees in order to go through initiation. Broke as a joke took on a whole new meaning for me.
I began partying a lot. I had never really been a big drinker, but now getting drunk was a key component of my weekend. I knew so many people in Greek who were borderline alcoholics that it seemed normal -- they would black out Friday night and wake up Saturday morning for work like it was nothing. It wasn't just drinking though; drugs were everywhere too, but I ignored the little voice in my head that was telling me I was going down the wrong path, because alcohol and drugs were a common part of everyone's college experience, Greek or not, right???
I was surrounded by cattiness. Although I never saw any hazing, I constantly heard girls from different sororities trash talk each other and even their sisters. They would say really nasty things about a girl, and then the next day they would go on and on about how much they love all of their sisters and #Panlove. It was Mean Girls on steroids.
On top of all of the madness I was experiencing inside of Greek, my relationship with my mom was in an awful place. We had always been really close, and now I never saw her. When I did, she would lecture me about how much I was partying and tell me I was spending too much money on it, and I would yell at her trying to explain why Greek was so great. I even began lying to her because I didn't want her to lecture to me anymore. Things just kept getting worse between us.
Recruitment was in early September and by late November I had had enough. My heart wasn't it, and I was tired of all of the partying and drama. I may have met some really great girls, but ultimately I knew it wasn't for me. When I finally made the decision I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. My mom was relieved when I told her; even my boyfriend was happy to hear that I was quitting. Telling my pledge class was really heartbreaking, but not nearly as painful as telling my Big. After I signed the paperwork, I had to return everything with any Greek letters. I thought I would be able to stay friends with everyone, but as it turns out once you quit Greek, you loose the string that was connecting you with all of them.
Fast forward to the summer after all of that madness, and I'm in such a better place. I still talk to a few of the girls I met during my brief stint as a sorority girl, and I love running into former sisters on campus and hearing about how they're doing because going Greek really does give you a bond that's incomparable -- your world revolves around being there for these girls. Sometimes when I scroll through my Instagram feed and see pictures of them at retreats or mixers, I wonder if I made the right choice, but then I remember how much happier I am now. I may miss a lot of those girls, but I certainly don't miss the downfalls of Greek life.
Not everyone I met was a hardcore partying, walking Greek stereotype, and I think that's worth noting. A lot of the women I met were 4.0 hella involved, multi-activity juggling, powerful bad asses. You get from Greek what you put in, and I was putting in all of the wrong things. Greek isn't for everyone, and that's okay. I'm not trying to bash it or belittle the great memories I made, because I know how amazing it can be when you really find the right fit for you. There are definitely a lot of great things that come from being in Greek life, and at the end of the day being a Greek isn't really that bad after all.
