Why I Hate Mayonnaise
Start writing a post
Arts Entertainment

Why I Hate Mayonnaise

A dramatically odd story that led to a hatred of a condiment.

Why I Hate Mayonnaise

It's a common condiment enjoyed by many people to dress sandwiches, burgers, and more. Used to make meals less boring, and loved by so many. But for people like myself, it's something I will never be able to like.

It all began in third grade. Like many other kids my age, I had lice and the drugstore shampoo was not doing its job to get rid of the bugs. Gross, I know. So, my mother was casually reading articles online one day and saw an article for an at-home lice treatment. She clicked open the article, started reading, and her eyes darted over at me as I continuously scratched my head. "Stop scratching," she yelled; But it wasn't helping. She read the article about how mayonnaise can be used to treat lice. Both my mom and myself have absolutely despised mayo for as long as we can remember, always moving it away from us whenever it was close.

I came home from school one day, and walked into the kitchen to greet my parents like always. As I entered the kitchen, I saw a big jar of mayonnaise sitting on the counter. I was so confused because we never kept it in the house, even the sight or smell of it would make my mom and I sick. My mom explained the article she read and how the condiment can be used to suffocate the lice. I immediately started to weep just thinking about having that disgusting goop in my hair.

Later in the night, my mom told me it was time. I sat on a stool by the trashcan as my mom opened the jar that seemed to go on forever. She glopped the white cream onto my head and would massage it into my scalp. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. We were both on the verge of vomit for the entire time this ordeal was happening, which felt like eternity. I begged and pleaded for her to stop, but she insisted we had to use the entire jar to do its job.

Finally, the jar was empty and I was ecstatic. Looking forward to running upstairs to the shower, my mom put a shower cap on top of my head. "Why are you putting this on me?" I asked. My mother then informed me that I had to sleep with this disgusting gunk in my hair all night. Yes, ALL NIGHT.

As I tossed and turned all night, I anxiously awaited my parents coming into my room to wake me up for a shower. After getting the mayo out of my hair, I knew I would never be able to taste that condiment ever again.

Although I never enjoyed the taste, I find myself hating the mere sight of it. I can smell it from a mile away, always having to double check a sandwich before buying it. I've always hated mayonnaise, and I always will.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments