To Those Who Felt Like They Never Belonged

Throughout middle school into high school I never felt like I belonged. I felt like I tried so hard to fit into the molds of various groups that made up my school, and I always felt like something was missing. Whether that was a solid friend group, a boyfriend, or just a sense of being apart of something bigger than myself. I always wondered if it was just me feeling this way, or if I was alone in feeling like I didn't belong?

I was lucky enough to be raised by an amazing mother who always made me feel worthy and I knew that if I didn't belong anywhere, I belonged with her and my family. Countless nights I would cry to her when I'd felt hopeless, or lost from school. Three things that she would emphasize to me are that, I'm worth it, I deserve to be treated right, and I can't let others determine my self worth.

Everyone deserves to feel worthy, to be treated right, and to own their self worth. I can't stress enough how important it is to stop trying to please others. In high school I never "belonged" because I chose to be friends with the "wrong" people. People who didn't truly care about me, and wanted to love and support me for me.

I still hear my mother's words of advice in my head daily whenever I'm doubting myself. Reflecting back on my pre college years, I realized why I never felt like I belonged. I was forced to be in an environment with the same individuals from childhood and now I'm finally free. I'm free to finally find my place, and belong somewhere that isn't high school.

Coming to college was truly a breath of fresh air, don't get me wrong it was intimidating. I was scared that the same feelings I struggled with in high school would repeat. But it has been the complete opposite, I've been accepted for being my authentic self. I've found so many passionate individuals who are all unique yet have similarities to myself. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've found my place.

When coming to this realization, you begin to reflect on why you never belonged before. You didn't belong because you weren't around people that wanted to build you up and support you. Once you branch out, and find your niche of people it gets better.

Feeling like you've found your place doesn't mean there won't be doubts of whether you fit in, if your friends will truly stick with you, or if you'll feel lonely. Those feelings may come and go, but know that what you're feeling is temporary.

If you're reading this and feel like you don't belong, just know that you're not alone! SO many people feel this way, it's just not talked about. I know this, because that's what I thought. Due to hiding how I felt, no one knew how I was feeling and I didn't know how anyone else felt because I never asked. I don't know if there's ever a point in our lives where we 100% "belong" anywhere, we're meant to grow, change, and evolve.

Ultimately one day you will find where you feel you belong, so never stop being your authentic self, and know that your people are out there. They are searching for you, as you're searching for them.