When have you ever heard a girl say she is into a guy because, “he’s an a$$hole”? Well, in my 21 years of life, I have never heard it, and I don’t expect that to change in the near future. 

A phrase that we have probably heard throughout our dating tenure is, “nice guys finish last”,  but is that really true? 

Women are complicated, but everything worth pursuing in life presents a series of challenges and obstacles. Women do not want an a$$hole, and if that’s how you see the picture, or believe that’s how it works, then you are mistaken and, sadly, out of luck. College is the best time to meet women, and if you are looking to lock down that beautiful girl, you need to know what she is looking for. No one is out of anyone’s league. With the right execution and proper timing anyone can fall for someone. 

1. They know the chase.

The difference between having a one-time thing with her and the second date isn’t as complicated as we make it out to be. It comes off as relatively unattractive to both sexes if something is just handed over. When you have to work for something, when time and effort is involved, the incentive to obtain it becomes that much more higher. This goes for anything in life.      

The chase officially starts when the butterflies make an appearance. Women, just like guys, will instantly find you more attractive when they realize that you don’t come easy. It’s going to take going that extra mile to get what you want. If she knows she’s going to have to work harder to get what she wants, then you’re on the right track. A$$holes tend to excel at this because they establish a scenario or situation in which the particular interest knows everything just won’t be handed over. When she realizes that she’s going to have to work a little harder to spend time with you, she’s going to do so, and it’s going to make you that much more appealing. This is especially true when a girl is used to having everything handed to her, like when every other guy in the room wants her. She’s used to all the attention and if you want to get her attention, then you’re going to have to stand out and be different from the rest. Just because she’s free to hang, doesn’t mean you are.     

The chase is the most exciting and thrilling part about a potential relationship, and is a process that makes both parties put in the work that is fundamental to a strong foundation between you and her. 

2. Self-identity.

It’s important to show a woman that you know who you are, that you have things figured out. You stay true to yourself and your beliefs, and you won’t change just to accommodate her, or anyone else. Knowing who you are as a person is also a sign of maturity, and every girl wants someone who is mature. In the long run, she’s going to appreciate someone who stands up for themselves and won’t bend over just to please them. Having a strong self-identity is the difference between being a passive and an active person. Being an active individual is way more attractive than being a passive one.

Have a clear understanding of your self worth. 

3. Confidence level.

All women appreciate a man with some confidence. It may seem intimidating to approach the most attractive girl at a party, but chances are every other guy is afraid to walk up to her. This is your opportunity and, more likely than not, it will pay off. Confidence projects itself and speaks volumes. If a girl knows a man is confident in himself then she herself will be confident in investing in him. One of the best traits of any individual is confidence. Confident people are more likely to be successful and to get what they want.    

Being confident doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cocky; it just means your comfortable in your abilities and in yourself. It takes time to build up, but once you have some level of confidence it will make a world of difference.      

So, grow some balls and go get her. 

4. Balance 

Being a well balanced and rounded individual works, too. There is always a time to be serious and a time for joking. Don’t dive into every detail about yourself right from the get go. There will be time for certain aspects about yourself to be revealed. If you give her everything in the beginning, what does she have to work for, or to look forward to?     
A well-balanced guy will also practice being well rounded in his relationship with a girl -- whatever level it’s on. She won’t take you seriously if you put her on a pedestal. If you’re overly nice all the time, it’s not going to work, either. Once again, don’t just bend over backwards for her. We all enjoy someone that has a multitude of elements to them and someone who just isn’t one-dimensional. 

5. You have options.

This is pretty self-explanatory. If she knows you had other options and that you chose her, that’s going to speak volumes. It’s also going to make her more interested in you because she knows you have your pick of the crop. This is something that doesn’t need to be said to her. She will already realize this when you two begin talking. You talk to a lot of women, but most of them never capture your attention. When she sees this, she’ll work harder to become more than just a number in your life. Everybody wants to be someone who is well looked upon and admired by the general public. Every girl likes to be kept on her toes, whether they admit or not. 

If you think being a jerk to woman is going to work, you’re wrong. If it’s worked up to this point, then it’s in your best interest to stop immediately. Women that are into this are generally immature and lack confidence. When looking for a relationship, or something on the next level when it comes to dating, a woman will choose an individual with the above-mentioned attributes and commodities. She will not choose a a$$hole; she’ll just pick the guy she knows she’ll have to work for. Women will always want something that’s worth going through all the challenges and difficulties for because, in the end, she knows they’ll work just as hard to keep her around and in their life.