President Trump’s first week in office. Wow, what an emotional rollercoaster. Every step he has taken, from the early days of his voracious, aggressive campaign to his nomination, inauguration, and now the start of his presidency has left both my citizen identity and optimism in shambles.

I will remember how it felt to read this past Wednesday’s headlines for years to come. Devastation, loss, and fury washed over me as I read the NY Times title “Trump Orders Mexican Border Wall to Be Built and Plans to Block Syrian Refugees.” Some people tend to find solace in thinking "he can’t do that," something I find particularly ironic as we said those very same words when he announced his plans to run for president. After my anger had dissolved, I felt a sudden rush of energy and passion to stand up and push back that I’ve never quite experienced before. Oddly enough, the most painful part of that day was actually when I turned to my friends in a search for the same passionate, empathetic response.

In the end, all I got was a cold, “You can’t do anything to change it now.”

And they were right. Sitting on my ass and complaining about politics wasn’t going to wipe away the signature on that memorandum. At in that exact moment, hundreds of miles away from D.C. in Portland, OR, I really couldn’t do anything to change the fact that this executive order was signed. I can’t help but wonder if that’s exactly what President Trump intends through this flurry of executive orders — to remind us that legislation which reflects what the people desire is no longer within our capacity and that our voices, however loud, will not be heard.

I somehow managed to muster up some positivity for an advocacy event I had organized that day in the hopes that students would find some guidance and inspiration to become politically engaged. I wasn’t expecting much of a turnout after having been discouraged all day. On the contrary, over 20 young adults stepped out of their busy lives to practice lobbying on issues varying from Planned Parenthood funding to social welfare programs.

Desensitization toward and detachment from the issues around us is truly due to a preconceived notion that people cannot truly impact change. If our votes do not matter, how can our voices? If we are unaffected by the tragedies of others, how can we care? I imagine it is easy to be swept away by apathy, to be so absorbed in your own life and problems that there simply is no room to think of the Syrian refugees who will no longer be welcomed into this country as of Friday. Or, like my friends, there is no point to it because we can’t do anything to change things now.

But at the Women’s March in Portland and across the world last week, our voices were more than heard. With every lobby visit we make to congressional offices and letter to editor we write, our opinions and pushback remind senators and representatives who they stand for and with. In this world of apathy and inaction masked as "pragmatism," I just keep telling myself that we can do everything to change things now.