It's nice to feel like your significant other wants you. It's good to know that you each feel secure in your relationship, not threatened. And jealousy is a normal part of a relationship, that cannot be denied. However, the song "Jealous" by Nick Jonas is perpetuating and romanticizing the idea of a possessive and controlling relationship. Some people may disagree with me, but I have personal experience with an emotionally abusive partner meaning I can speak from that. The insecurity and manipulative tendencies of my previous partner has had an impact on my current relationship, which is why I felt the need to write an article about this song. I don't want people to continue in relationships that society has deemed appropriate.
According to HealthCentral.com, "A prominent trait of abusers is their jealousy. An abusive partner or spouse is often jealous of you, other people and even your dreams and goals. Their jealousy and rage over intangible things like your aspirations stem from the lack of control they feel over those aspects of your life."
And here's a direct quote from the song: I wish you didn't have to post it all/I wish you'd save a little bit just for me/Protective or possessive, yeah/Call it passive or aggressive. The lyrics make Jonas appear as if he doesn't care if he appears "protective or possessive" to him it doesn't matter which one, he just is that. And it should be accepted because his partner is his domain.
Another sign of an emotionally abusive relationship is controlling/obsessive behaviors. Constant text messaging, phone calls, checking in on what you are doing and who you're doing it with is an example of this. I'm not saying texting your significant other throughout the day is unhealthy, because most all couples in this modern day do this. The specific circumstance I'm speaking of is almost like a type of surveillance. Your partner has to be aware of everything you're doing at all times to ensure that they still have you. Here's another Jonas lyric: You can call me obsessed/It's not your fault that they hover/I mean no disrespect/It's my right to be hellish/I still get jealous. Jonas claims that it is his "right" to be "hellish" and "jealous." Why is it his right? His significant other is not his possession, she is a human being with thoughts and feelings and a right to live her life how she pleases. The insecurity her partner experiences is not his right, it is his own issue that he is putting on his partner. Even though he admits that it's not her "fault", he still goes on to say: You're the only one invited/I said there's no one else for you. He "said" it, therefore it is law. "There's no one else for" her, no one else that she can involve herself with. That is not a healthy relationship.
Don't get me wrong, it's a super catchy tune, but I do NOT take jealousy or glorified unhealthy relationships lightly. As a personal victim of similar behavior, I think it's important to say this: you have a right to your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions and you should NOT be forced into anything that makes your uncomfortable, nor should you be made to feel inadequate.
In the words of Joe, the bodyguard of the Queen of Genovia herself: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Take that, Nick Jonas.
