Graduating college is the scariest experience in the world. It's almost like going through a mid- life crisis, only you don't have money, a job, or a clue of what to do next.

If you think about it, you go to school for 16 years of your life. Every summer is a break, but you know that in a few months you're still safe; you don't have to worry about jobs, or what to do next. When you graduate, it's like you're on a permanent summer vacation, and no one is there to force you to get your life together. This might seem appealing, but in reality, it's all up to you now. There's no one there to blame but yourself. If your life doesn't turn out right, it isn't because "your professor didn't go over it in class", or "your school sucks", it's because you didn't work hard enough.

I've always loved going to school, even in high school and middle school when I was bullied. I always wanted to go to school. As long as I was doing theater, I wanted to be in school. When I got to college, I wasn't bullied anymore, so that gave me even more of a reason to want go. Every time I had a vacation, I would be miserable until the next time I got to go to school. Now that I don't have school to look forward to at the end of my break, what do I do now? What do I even look forward to?

This generation is obsessed with "lasts." Last year was my last summer vacation. Three months ago I ended my last semester. Last semester I performed my last college show, The list goes on and on. My biggest fear is that I acted in my last show.

College is where I met all of my friends, what if they forget about me once school starts back up for them? All of the professors that I grew so close with over the years, when will I see them next? Will there be any familiar faces in the world? I want all of my questions answered, and I want them now. The waiting is what's driving me crazy.

All I can hope, is that it gets better.